Hodge Blogs

New blog

2011-12-07T15:29:00.001-05:00

In case you still come looking around her for some words from yours truly...I haven't posted anything in about a year and a half...well this is changing...come check out my new blog at www.apennyforyourthoughts-allison.blogspot.com

Enjoy!

Family Vacation

2010-08-21T21:24:00.002-04:00

We are just returning home tonight from our first family of 4 vacation. We didn't drive to go visit any family. We didn't meet any family at our location...it was just us...Jason, Allison, Caroline, and Wyatt. It was divine. You know I didn't know if it would be. Would it feel like we were just doing life in another location...it didn't feel that way...even cooking dinner seemed easier...kids appreciated food different...Jason and I connected...kids slept in same room even though we had space that they didn't have to but they requested that they should...they slept well, played well...I think we only had one spanking, a couple of wipe outs, lots of new words from Wyatt (like elevator, I got it, There it is, beach, jelly bean, ice cream)...there too will be a sufficient detox from all the videos watched in the car and at night...but hey...it was vacation...I loved it...Thankful we made the decision to try it this year...overall thankful!

The Generous Spirit

2010-08-21T21:16:00.002-04:00

About a month ago I began talking to Caroline about donating her hair to locks of love. I told her that there are some kids that are sick and don't have hair. Would she like to give them hers...she paused and said "Yeah let's do it after naps." I laughed and said well, you've got a wedding that you're in in a couple weeks, lets wait until after the wedding. So, about 2 days after the wedding she said, "Mom the wedding is over, we have to cut my hair." I love it.
I wasn't sure how she would react...when they cut would she cry and beg for them to put it back on (would I cry and beg for them to put it back on)...neither happened...our little lady behaved again with such grace...I love it! I told Jason that I feel very responsible for raising her to know that truly "your beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised"...she won't always have gorgeous hair, so I don't want her to associate her worth with it...anyway...here is a look at her new look...

The Flower Girl

2010-08-21T20:40:00.002-04:00

Caroline was asked to be a flower girl in a wedding. It was sweet Kelsey Stubbs (now Cordell). Kelsey has babysat for us since C was born. I have had the opportunity to mentor Kelsey for a while...it is a sweet relationship. Anyway, we have practiced and gotten ready...but oh what I experienced couldn't have prepared me for what I felt that night.
We did all the hoopla that a wedding should have...the rehearsal dinner (you'll see the pic w/ her adorned in her hoopla that the bride got for her) she instantly became 16 I am pretty sure. Then the next day she decided that she wanted to wear her tutu (that Kelsey also got her) to arrive at the wedding in...hilarious...then she got dressed...and from here on out I was so impressed with our girl.
She did a lot of waiting around like you do when you are in a wedding. Never did I hear a complaint, or a whine...never...she chose to behave w/ respect to those asking things of her, when the rain moved the wedding indoors and she had to roll with it...she did...then came the time for me to leave her upstairs w/ the girls, and make my way downstairs to sit w/ Jason and await her arrival. I told her I was going downstairs and was she ok. She said she was. I was nervous...not because I was afraid for her, or wanting her to be perfect...I just kept telling her all weekend to have fun...but here is what I came to realize. I had my first proud parent moment. You see, it was the first time that I became an observer of her life. I wasn't in control...she was...I had no say in how she did "it"...what happened was this...all the girls walk down, the music is building, and I see her little white bow above the tops of peoples heads...walking slowly...then she turns the corner with the most gorgeous calm smile on her face and she was tossing those petals, and walking, and smiling...she's never done a thing in front of people...I mean truly you never know what you're going to get w/ a flower girl...right...we've all seen them loose it...never make it down the aisle...but for me...it wasn't the perfection that she gave walking down the aisle that I was so proud of...but w/ tears streaming down my face I was observing my daughter make a choice w/ how she wanted to behave, treat others, step up to the plate at game time and deliver, then wait w/ grace even longer for that darned cake! I was just so proud of her. To top it all off, as the wedding is happening - vows are being said - she realizes that she still has all these petals in her basket, what to do. Jason just tells her to drop them on her way back out at the end. And so she does...it was great. Enjoy the pics of our little lady.

Seeing Old Friends

2010-08-21T20:33:00.003-04:00

I apologize for my lack of blogging....probably have lost any readers I once had...well...here's to new beginnings...the fall is approaching (although you would never know from the heat outside)...there are some happenings that I wanted to capture here...so there will be several posts to come...

We had the awesome opportunity to catch up w/ dear friends Keith & Hope West and their two boys Jed and Bo. I worked w/ Keith and Hope at Kanakuk. She and I walked every day together, traveled together, dreamed of walking with our babies together, prayed for our lives together, she was in my wedding...and now we just live too far apart. But every year about this time she and her fam come cruising through Atlanta b/c they have just been to see Keith's fam in North Carolina. Well...we met for lunch, Keith never having met my kids, I only having seen Jed (now almost 5) right after he was born, and Bo (almost 3) when he was about 9 months old...our kids played so great together, and Hope and I spotted a few "glances" between Jed and Caroline...do see it too? Anyway, it made me so thankful for stolen moments w/ friends. Like my mom says...I don't think that absence makes the heart grow fonder...it is being w/ people that makes it grow fonder. I have missed Hope...it was a pleasure to be w/ her and her men.

Playing together

2010-06-27T14:53:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was priceless...the kids are learning about playing together. It is so great to watch them and hear them. It was after naps and they stayed upstairs playing. They had crawled into the cradle which is the "boat" and I hear Caroline in there instructing Wyatt. Here's how the conversation went:
C: "Wyatt this is an apple. Can you say apple?"
W: "Apple"
C: "Good job buddy that's right. This is an alligator. Can you say alligator?"

etc etc. And this kind of conversation went on for over 10 min I bet. She is often getting married, and he is often her prince (even when he doesn't know it). She asks us who her "special man" will be...when I say I don't know his name yet I ask her if she would like to pray for him...she does...so we do.

Wyatt is ALL boy. I love it. And he is sweet to his mamma. Today as we waited for Jason after the service he smothered me with kisses. Probably 10 in a row...precious. He is into riding his bike, as is she. He loves "Lightning" "Doc" and "Mater"...he loves rough housing...

They both love the water. We are at the pool most days, thankful for the reprieve from the heat.

Mostly in these last few weeks watching them I realize - AGAIN - just how fast this is going. I mean was it really already a year ago that WC began all his puking and we realized it was reflux...has it really been a year since we potty trained Caroline...Lord in the midst of me trying to find a way to "kill time"...let me soak this up...let me soak it in...I think often of the passage that talks about Jesus' mother Mary "hiding these things in her heart."

....me too

pics: Caroline trying on her flower girl dress and practicing being a flower girl
Wyatt: swimming lesson and being well cute :)

New Musings

2010-06-22T15:09:00.003-04:00

So sorry it has been awhile ....not sure anyone reads this except me anyway...hopefully our kids will someday and it'll be calming to them, reassuring, encouraging etc.
Sooo today...this is more about something w/ me than w/ the kids. I was out running a costuming errand at one of my old stomping grounds from when I worked. I am prepping for a video shoot this Friday. When I walked in w/ Caroline and Wyatt they were so glad and surprised to see us. When we couldn't find one of the things I needed the owner just said "Didn't I hear you say you were going to take the kids to lunch?" "Yes" "Why don't you take them to get some food and I'll just make you one." ...What?! She'll make me one..."We'd do anything for you Allison."...I just love when relationships that you invest in come back into your circle and you are able to see that investment at work. Does that make sense. It's been 3 years since I've been there on a weekly basis...They all hugged me, gushed over the kids...it was great.

The kids...are well...GREAT! I love this season. Caroline is 3 - full of words...I mean full...the swim instructor says one day after lessons... "Wow, how old is she again. Yeah I've never been around a 3 year old that talks that much." I'm going to take that as a compliment! :)
Wyatt is 18 months, communicating...loves singing "You Baby" and "Love on the Rocks" from the Jazz Singer - Neil Diamond baby! He is full of energy, full of life, opinion (mostly about food), and is a joy to watch him share w/ his sister, love on her, and have an opinion about when Jason tries to hug me or touch me of any kind...he's not a fan! Makes me laugh.

Life is good. Loving it!

Things happening

2010-05-02T19:59:00.002-04:00

I can't believe it has been since her birthday that I have posted. April was a busy month. We had Easter, a wedding in TN, a death in the family and went back to KC, pink eye for Wyatt, Caroline and myself, stomach bug for all of us...April was busy. Also in April Wyatt got his first haircut, he began totally walking all on his own - even the ability to stand on his own when he falls down so he can keep walking - walking is now the preferred mode of transport. Caroline is into talking about "body parts" - enough said. :) We are learning that those are private conversations - not ones necessarily meant for the Greenway or the halls at North Point. Caroline is also into using phrases like "Mommy you misspoke." "I made a mistake." "Hey silly boy." "How does Jesus go potty." Hmmmm all the questions a sweet 3 year old should ask.

Tonight I am sad for little Wyatt. He has had a temp for 4 days (high 101-103), doc said there is a virus going around with high temp for 4-5 days...so tomorrow is day #5. He is eating like a champ though so I am thankful for that. He and I are sharing round 2 of pink eye...I hate feeling like this. Like I can't quite get the germs out of the house so we can all be healthy...I know that this is normal...but it still stinks. I hear him cough in the monitor and know that honestly there isn't really anything I can do. It's like how I pray each night when I lay the kids down, "Lord meet their needs when I can't." Tonight Lord, comfort him...help him sleep...restore his little body.

She's 3

2010-03-24T15:25:00.002-04:00

We had a wonderful week of birthday's last week! My mom came in town for the week of celebration - we loved having Grammy here. Caroline is truly just a delight. She is full of questions - and answers :) - she loves to talk, I mean loves to talk. I have noticed that if I give her the tools she needs she really loves to learn, loves to review on her own, loves to teach her own dolls - or Wyatt...she is so stinkin smart. One of her phrases lately is "I think I misspoke." Hilarious...I mean what 3 year old says that...She loves to learn scripture, she loves to learn period. I have truly enjoyed doing pre-school w/ her at home two mornings a week while Wyatt takes his morning nap. Her birthday was great. We celebrated w/ lots of cake - she requested the same pony cake that WC had but wanted it pink. She chose her bday dinner herself - she requested Cheeseburgers, Kale, sweet potatoes, and cake (of course). Last Friday (which was my bday) we all went to the zoo! Our first time and it was so GREAT! Gosh the Lord was creative when making all the wonderful animals.
I also got Caroline some soft curlers to put in her hair at night...she loved it and felt like such a big girl! There isn't any toddler in that one anymore - she truly is all little girl! I love being her momma! Enjoy the pics.

Wyatt's Walking

2010-02-26T20:17:00.003-05:00

Well...he took 3 steps today. This has been a week of major development for him. It seems like to me anyway. We came back from a week in Kansas and he seems like such a big boy. I feel like that always happened with Caroline too...after she had been with her cousins for a significant amount of time she came back more confident verbally and with motor skills. So WC came back and has been able to climb on the couch and chairs by himself and get down...to which he is very proud of himself. Today he took 3 steps...and verbally oh my goodness...here is the run down of words (oh yeah he is only 14 months)
sign language: more, please, all done, fish, butterfly, elephant, bye bye
spoken: momma, daddy, ball, cracker, ah do (all done), no, shh (shoes) sss (socks), car, he has two stuffed animal blanket things he sleep with and he quacks for the duck and says ruff fuff for the dog

It is just so much fun to watch him grow and develop! I love watching he and Caroline play, become friends, kiss on each other!
We are in a really fun season of life. I love what I get to do every day.

Okay, enough blabbing from the proud momma!

Asking for Forgiveness

2010-02-04T15:12:00.002-05:00

Somehow time slips away from me...how has it been almost a month since I posted. Time goes so fast with two little ones...I try to tuck those fun, sweet moments away in my head...but I do know that someday I won't be able to remember what it felt like to actually hold them in my arms...

This week I had a great reminder in the importance of forgiveness and that it is something that is taught. I don't think it is in our nature to ask for forgiveness, nor necessarily want to do so. Jason and I were both gone and we had a babysitter for the kiddos. Caroline was in a bit of a dramatic mode and ended up (long story short) being disobedient and disrespectful to her. I was so proud of the way that our sitter handled the situation - she tried time out and then when CDH kicked her -what? - she took away her little TV time before bedtime. The next morning I asked CDH about the instance and she immediately had a quiver lip, and tears streaming down her face. I asked her if she thought we should call Miss Kelsey to ask for forgiveness and she said NO. I let it go for a little bit, but after talking with my mom she said I really needed to have her call even if she couldn't say the words to her, she needed to hear mommy say that we are so thankful for her, and then to ask her to forgive Caroline for her behavior. Also, I needed to have CDH ask Wyatt for forgiveness b/c the whole thing started with her taking a toy from him the night before. I had her do that and she was totally compliant to ask WCH for forgiveness. Then when she and I went to the couch and called Kelsey - she just couldn't say the words - so I did for her...it was a good teaching moment that even if you don't want to ask for forgiveness, that's what Jesus would have us do. I told her that I have to ask others for forgiveness sometimes too...and that it is still hard for mommy. It was a great morning of learning for both of us.

Wyatt is doing GREAT. He will be 14 months tomorrow! That is incredible. We found out we were prego with him when Caroline was this old...oh my! He will walk holding your hands, but prefers the speed of crawling still. He likes to follow me around saying "mama" at the top of his lungs...he signs "all done, please, thank you, more, bye bye" and he will actually say daddy, momma, bye bye, bubble, and he quacks like a duck whenever he sees one. He is a delight, growing into his little personality.

If I haven't mentioned it in a little while I LOVE being a mom and I LOVE being home with them. Enjoy the latest pics of our girl in her dress up wedding dress and veil, and Wyatt cute laughter.

God in our Traditions

2010-01-11T14:33:00.002-05:00

So my sister-in-law Teri gave me the book by Noel Piper (John Piper's wife) called "Treasuring God in our Traditions". I am LOVING it! To be reminded about my responsibility as a believer to pass on, to talk about, to help live out the traditions set forth many many generations ago by God and keep them going. The Israelites talked about how God has shown up in their lives to their children, and their children's children. I want to make sure that Caroline and Wyatt know WHY we talk about the LORD...WHY he is trustworthy...WHY we choose to live differently than most of the world...
Piper talks a lot about heirlooms, and traditions...that there is a difference in passing down the old fur coat or the family recipe...although both worthy and a great thing...the tradition of Christ in the home is the most important to pass down.
I found myself this morning journaling about this concept and knowing that my parents have given me the foundation...that I know this stuff - but still am aware that it is my responsibility to pass it on down to the next generation. In order for that to happen, I need to make sure that my life is soaked in God - because then when life squeezes me - hopefully he with pour out on to them and those that are close to us...that HE will be the tradition of our home.
I want to be like the description of her father as he had passed away. (this is a portion of a poem written by John Piper about her Father):
"But there was shade, especially when
The tree was old: the leaves were thick
With life, and though the root was sick,
The bark deep-creased with age, the limbs
Were laden down with love, and hymns
Were heard beneath when wind bestirred
The bowing branches with the Word
Of heav'n. O there were years of shade!"

I want to have deep roots and lots of shade! Amen!

Great moments

2010-01-04T20:53:00.002-05:00

There were so many great moments over the holiday (sans the puke, snot, and coughs) but one that I wanted to mention here, okay probably two or three (he he).

#1. When we were in the hospital with Wyatt during the holidays last year we were so moved by the people that loved on our family and brought Wyatt and Caroline gifts that we decided that would now become part of our family tradition. So on the Friday before we left for Kansas all 4 of us piled in the nasty weather to head down to Scottish Rite. We met up with my contact and handed her a bag of gifts for some other new born on the respiratory wing. There was no hoopla, no fan fare, but I was moved to tears as I shared w/ them what a wonderful experience we had had there (if that is possible in hospital), and that this would now be a part of our family experience. (see pic)

#2. Arriving in Kansas and my mom had arranged with the Children's Mercy Hospital there for us to bring gifts there as well. I was so moved as I watched each of my nephews, and niece, and Caroline as they handed the woman the gifts they had chosen and would honestly have loved to take home for themselves. I walked out of this hospital again moved and thankful that we weren't there this year, and thankful my boy is healthy.

#3. Last night in Kansas. Adult only dinner, crab legs, shrimp, and good wine. Great conversation. My dad asking each of us what we wanted them to pray for us for the year. I loved that both Jason and I without talking about it before hand said that we would make our marriage a purposeful priority this year! Oh what fun it is to be like minded.

Those are my top 3 highlights from the holiday. I am so thankful for family. Thankful I didn't have to do the puke, snot and coughing alone. Thankful for road trips. Thankful for a husband that takes me back home and loves it too. Thankful for Christmas snow. Thankful for Christ. Thankful for a healthy new nephew born on New Years Eve (Jeff and Edi had Caleb - son #2). Thankful!

Gettin' Dirty

2009-12-12T15:17:00.003-05:00

So being a mom is not a clean thing...the last couple of days have been hard. First Wyatt woke w/ congestion on Thursday...temp followed...cough...puke b/c of congestion/cough during meals....then Caroline wakes w/ it yesterday...let the spiral begin. Just when I thought maybe we were turning a corner this morning...lunch time sent us in yet another spiral - being downward- she puked all over me - then Wyatt crawled through it as the dogs licked it up! AHHHHH DISGUSTING! So we made it upstairs to the shower...all 3 of us...she was weeping and crying...shaking...her temp had shot up...meanwhile...Wyatt nose dripping and coughing is having the time of his life splashing in the water on the floor of the shower. Today..we are getting down and dirty! Here's hoping for sweet rest while they are up there sleeping...and a good time tonight once Daddy gets home, and we can all snuggle and watch a movie together! Being a mommy is dirty!

Happy Birthday little boy!

2009-12-05T21:51:00.003-05:00

Today you turned 1! One...how is it possible my little man? It has flown...and feels like a long time that I have known you. Your first month of life was a bit dramatic...but I wouldn't change it...I feel like you and I bonded in a way I was nervous wouldn't happen being the 2nd child. I had time with you...time to pray over you...time to weep over you...time to hold you...time to learn your noises...time secluded with you away from the world...then when we got home..we hit the floor running. As I rocked with you tonight...I thought about all that you have learned in this first year and it truly is amazing. I am proud of you. I love hearing your laugh, giggle, growls, getting kisses from you, watching you dance, discover, be YOU! You are wonderful Wyatt Christopher. I love being your mom! Happy birthday little boy!

Jason's Birthday Surprise

2009-11-30T14:38:00.003-05:00

Jason's bday is this coming Friday December 4th~ he will be 35! Wow! Since Wyatt's bday is the 5th I decided to do something for Jason the weekend before...we got up real early, I blind folded him and took him ...for a hot air balloon ride! So great. My mom actually decided to send my dad for his 65th bday! It was a little chilly (37 degrees) but a gorgeous morning. We all went for the launch, then mom, Caroline, Wyatt and I followed the chase car so we could see them land! What a fun morning! Happy birthday babe! I am glad you were born!

New playroom

2009-11-30T14:24:00.002-05:00

So I have been overwhelmed by lack of space, and know that Christmas and a little boy's birthday are upon us...my sis-in-law had a GREAT idea. She said that when they lived in Atlanta she had a friend who didn't have a basement and she turned the crawl space under their stairs into a playroom! I loved the idea! So mom and dad have been here for the holiday and the transformation began. We moved all of the things I was storing under there (mostly Christmas decorations) to the new shelves we put in in the guest room closet. Dad and Jason put dry wall up, we painted the walls in the entry part of the closet space, then put sheets up on the dry wall, threw some rugs down and put in the toys! They love it! They are playing together in there...oh yeah...dad and Jason also put in two lights for them with switches down low so the kiddos can turn them on and off. I love creative use of spaces! Thanks mom and dad for making it happen!

11 Months! WHAT?

2009-11-05T14:25:00.003-05:00

Today our little man is 11 months old! I can't hardly believe that birthday party ideas are already brewing, theme is established, and Wyatt is almost 1 year old! AHHH! It is wonderful and hard all at once! This has been a big week for the boy - he got a 3rd tooth, he is pulling to stand, and this morning finally discovered the joy of the stairs. That of course means that we began to have stair lessons! I did this with Caroline and am so thankful. She mastered those stairs early on and I never really worried about her. So - WC - got his first lesson today in going up and down. I must say he was pretty proud of himself.
One new thing I love watching is Caroline and Wyatt interacting now. It is just too precious. Two of my favorites have been on walks w/ them in double wide. Last week Wyatt leaned in to kiss Caroline. He hadn't done this before. She backed away b/c she didn't know what he was trying to do. I told her, and well, that was all she needed they then kissed back and forth for the next several minutes! I love it! Then on Monday we were walking and I watched Caroline just reach over and begin rubbing Wyatt's back! Oh to sweet! Lord, bless their relationship so that they might always be friends.

I held WC this morning getting him out of his car seat and just held him close and kissed that sweet little head. Knowing he's growing up right before my eyes and he may not want me always kissing on his sweet head...isn't it the goal to work myself out of a job...that's a hard thing to do!

Oh yeah and I trimmed Caroline's hair for the first time in her life last Monday. I think I cut off about 4 inches! Woah! Didn't intend to be that much...but it looks so healthy and like a big girl!

Battle

2009-10-14T14:03:00.002-04:00

Dearest Caroline- this morning was one of the most difficult mornings I have ever had with you. I love you! I have never heard screams, cries, confusion, disrespect, disobedience, indecision from you like I have this morning. I love you! I will battle through this with you. I love your heart. I love how you know scripture that we haven't even really taught you. I love how you talk about God and that he lives in your heart...and I hate that Satan knows that and vies for you my love. As soon as I began praying in the car out loud b/c what else could I do? You told me to stop - so I kept on...when I began singing you told me to stop - so I kept on...when I began quoting scripture you told me to stop- so I kept on...I LOVE YOU! I will fight on your behalf for as long as the Lord lets me. I need to remember that until you know how to clothe yourself in HIS armor it is my job to clothe me, and to shield you my love....you have finally stopped screaming...it has been quiet for 15 minutes. I pray you get rest right now, and that the Holy Spirit ministers to your little heart that loves that Him so much while you sleep. I love you Caroline. I love you!

Family Day

2009-10-07T15:39:00.003-04:00

Just a few pics of our outing to Bert's Farm...which we missed the hayride twice that morning then had to leave to get Jason back so he could do MLL at Bhead...oh well. Another time! Enjoy the pics!

Happy Hearts & Joyful Spirits

2009-09-21T15:44:00.002-04:00

Being "the mom" or "the parent" is hard. Caroline and I seem to battle around the issue of the potty. There will be days when it is so easy, I don't have to remind her, she just gets it and does it. The last 3ish days have been with maybe only one success on the potty each day, and she looks right at me and says "I don't want/have to/need to go to the potty" - take your pick of the phrase...I usually say that is fine, you know what to do so when you need to go potty just do it...today was a flat out "no I am a baby"- now I realize that she may be playing into wanting different attention like her brother is getting esp since he started crawling he is getting praised differently than ever before. I had had it this morning and said "fine, let's go put on a diaper" to which she had no problem (ahhhh). I was so frustrated...actually ticked off that this could get me like it does. I think she knows it too. Anyway...after a few minutes of me realizing that I was actually behaving like a baby. I stopped, prayed, and asked the Lord for wisdom. When she made it back down the stairs I said..."Okay Caroline I'm going to set the timer, and in 10 min. you get to be a big girl again, not a baby" - to which she let me know that she did not want to be a big girl and please don't set the timer (not quite sure why she had an issue w/ the timer we don't use it for anything other than cooking typically) - so we went about our business. When the timer went off she lost it - I began to praise her for all the great things I love about her being a big girl, I sat her on my lap and prayed over her then changed her back into panties...she was sobbing. I then told her (as she was telling me repeatedly that she was a baby) if she needed to go cry about being a big girl then she needed to do that in her room and find a happy heart and a joyful spirit. "I don't want a happy heart and a joyful spirit" (now this I understand - sometimes I just don't want to come out of my funk, I want to be ticked off, or frustrated, sad or whatever...but you know I think Joy is a choice - God gives us the amazing fruit of the spirit being Joy - but I think we still have to take it from him - it doesn't always come naturally.) After a few minutes in her room, crying about being a big girl - she finally said she had a happy heart and was ready to be a big girl.
Growing up is hard. There are times I would like to just not have any responsibility, be a kid, sleep, play, eat whatever I want and just be...but not so - God has asked me to grow up to...choose to have a happy heart and a joyful spirit about where I am at also...perhaps I need to let Caroline know when I am having to choose to have a happy heart and a joyful spirit...so she'll know even as an adult you have a chance to choose...
...as I write this I hear her waking up and singing "You Baby" from the Jazz Singer...a joyful heart indeed!

Growing up!

2009-09-21T10:21:00.003-04:00

Fun times here at the Hodges household. Wyatt is officially crawling and attempting to pull up to at least his knees on things. Caroline is sooo good at going potty...and then not good at all going potty on the potty...weird. But, she is full of song. The picture here is of her singing into her play-doh microphone. She has begun to have "KidStuf" and sing on her "stage". I must admit I love it.
My mom comes in town tomorrow for a week, and dad will join us on Saturday. Wyatt will be dedicated on Sunday at church so we are thankful they are able to come and celebrate him with us.
This season is hard. Makes for a very selfish heart to rear it's ugly head often. I am learning that marriage, my relationship with Jason is hard in this season - but it is worth the fight, worth the struggle. We have been reading "Now You're Speaking My Language" by Gary Chapman and discussing once a week...and it is a GREAT book if you are looking for something to read with your spouse, or alone on how to truly have a covenant marriage as opposed to a contract marriage! I highly recommend it.

I love being a mom! I love being married to my man! Life is good!

9 Month Stats

2009-09-16T14:25:00.002-04:00

WC is Huge! To us. Caroline wasn't this big until about 15-18 months old I think...I think she only weighs 5 more lb than him right now...hilarious!

22 lb (75%)
29 1/4 in (80%)

Love this boy! Jason says he crawled last night while I was at my mom's bible study...I haven't quite seen it yet today. He is moving...but I wouldn't quite call in crawling...maybe I am holding out for him to do it for me. Silly, I know!

9 Months

2009-09-10T09:52:00.002-04:00

Here is a pic of Caroline at 9 months and Wyatt at 9 months...just for fun!

When did it happen?

2009-08-26T20:46:00.002-04:00

Somewhere in the night between Monday and Tuesday - Caroline grew up. I think as a parent you aren't sure when it is going to happen, and all of a sudden it does and you think - "wow, okay, you just grew up between now and yesterday."
Explanation: one funny/amusing one thank you Lord...

Monday as we were doing laundry as we do every Monday she manages to grab one of my bra's (sorry fellas) and puts it on her back and says, "Look mom I've got my backpack on. I am ready for school." Hilarious. We have been talking a ton about why the school bus is coming in our neighborhood, and we've been talking about our "school time" starting back up Thursday (tomorrow) which she is thrilled about.
The next thing was Tuesday she decided she wanted to totally dress herself, 3x that day, everything, with a little coaching - but wow! Play clothes in the am, then swim diaper and swim suit, then back into play clothes adding in some leg warmers for the evening...but last night is what took the cake. We've done the bath and now it's time to go into her room, get on "night time panties" aka pull-ups, and her jammies...she wants to do it all herself...then the bed time ritual continued to be her own...not mine. Usually we hold her, sing some songs, say prayers, and have her say her verse, then tuck in bed...last night she informed us that she didn't want us to hold her or sing w/ her...she wanted to do it herself. And she did...she sang the regulars - Jesus Loves Me, Amazing Grace, Away in a Manger (she swayed the whole time), then we asked her if she wanted to pray by herself or if she wanted us to pray w/ her..she wanted to pray...and she did..."Jesus thank you for (and you name it) Daddy's North Carolina Shirt, mommies brown hair, my bedroom, Wyatt's bedroom, Zeke and Zoey etc etc etc. She said Amen. Then we asked her to say her verse which she rattled off...then climbed into her own bed, pulled up the covers said "I love you" and thankfully (for my heart) asked me to stay and sing "Raindrops on Roses".
I left the room...just totally amazed at the independence that she is expressing...the independent love for Jesus that she is showing...amazing...I love watching this kid! I love being her mom!

Kansas Fun

2009-08-18T10:28:00.004-04:00

So there is much to show of what's happened over the last month. I will put some highlight pics up - and some blurb highlights...

* Wyatt came off Prevacid for a week, started throwing up again so is back on until next Doc check up
* We went to KC from Aug 5-15 for my gma's 90th bday!
*KC highlights (not limited to) gma bday party; getting toes done with my niece, sis-in-law, mom, and daughter for the first time; alone time w/ my niece doing make-overs; going to Great Wolfe Lodge complete w/ indoor water park; watching Caroline go down big water slide w/ my dad; Wyatt got sick w/ 102 fever (not a great highlight, but one none the less); going swimming in the pond w/ my kids that I grew up swimming in (weird but wonderful); a 4 hour dinner out on the back porch w/ my parents, Darren and Teri, and Jason complete w/ shooting stars; 2.5 hour dinner w/ Darren and Teri where we just told the waiter to have the chef choose our meal...incredible; watching Caroline play w/ Mac Henry; seeing the fog roll in across the pasture; Jason getting an incredible call about a job opportunity while we were out there; continually loving the home where I grew up...realizing I may never live there again...

That last sentence is where my heart lies these days...I have now lived in Atlanta for 8 years. I came here Aug.1,2001...I truly never thought I'd be here this long, and have been almost awaiting the Lords voice of saying - "now go Home"...but I think the Lord is asking me to begin to emotionally call Atlanta home. Whenever I say the words home I am usually referring to Kansas...but after this last trip home, I have realized that I believe I am holding back my heart from Atlanta. I do love living here...but I think have always thought the Lord would take me back...home...but I think he's asking me to call Atlanta home...it is hard to even type those words...perhaps w/ saying it my heart will follow. I may just be one of those people that when asked "where are you from"...I will be able to say "Atlanta" and not have a pit in my stomach.

So that's where I am right now...Wyatt said "Mamma" on Sunday...amazing...truly!

Enjoy the pics.

July

2009-07-21T14:07:00.003-04:00

July has been crazy and fast! How is it already the end?
We left for the beach on July 5th and were there until the 11th. Then I left w/ the kids and Jason's mom for Camp Kid Jam up at Wake Forest from July 13-20th. Jason came up there for a few days after his mom left. It has been crazy busy.
For updates...Wyatt is not puking anymore. He was still doing it at the beach, but decided to stop eating his solid food anymore and would only take a bottle. So I called the doc w/ this new symptom and he put him on Prevacid. This did wonders. Within about 36 hours he wasn't throwing up and was interested in trying solid food again. Thank you Lord!
The beach was GREAT! Love being in the water...it was a weird trip w/ the weather this time. Lot's of crazy windy storms would blow in - they usually do this in Florida in the summer but in previous years it always seemed like it was around 3pm...but this time it was around 12:30 most days so we hadn't been out there very long when the storms would come and we'd have to get all the kids inside...then down for naps by the time it would blow over! We still had a wonderful time. One of my high lights was a double date we got to take w/ Jeff and Edi! Dinner and putt putt golf. Man it's been awhile since I've done that. We had a blast!
Next we were off to CKJ. This was also a great week...exhausting, but worth it. My kids are over it though. They are so glad we are home...me too!

I will say the last 2.5 weeks have put a damper on the potty training. I think w/ all the swim diapers and pull ups used while at camp...she has forgotten about "sensing" when she needs to go!! AHHHH!! So frustrating when she had it down sooo good! I know she can do it...now it's just staying with it!

Enjoy the pics!

Wyatt is 7.5 months old by the way...sucking on his toes, developing a wonderful personality, laughing, and snuggling! I love this age!

At a loss!

2009-07-04T22:54:00.002-04:00

My dear sweet Wyatt. I don't know how to help you!
Wyatt has been projectile vomiting for the past #16 days 1-2-3x a day. Usually at meal time about 1/2 way through...he'll throw up it all...then eat the rest and usually keep it down. It doesn't seem to matter if he's had his bottle yet, what kind of veggies/fruit he is eating, if he burps or not, if he's sitting up straight or reclined...the only thing that separates is he has never thrown up after breakfast. Breakfast is the only meal I am still nursing at...is that the difference-my breast milk? I don't think I have any to go back to nursing at lunch and dinner...I barely have any in the morning any more...I've switched to different formulas...we've gone w/o formula for a day...I've taken him to the doctor - they aren't worried b/c he was still gaining weight...and he is so stinkin' happy...right before and right after he is usually happy...as he was puking in the car on the way home tonight he looked at me and smiled...what is that?
I do not know how to help him or make it stop. We have purchased the "PB" (puke bucket) to have with us at all times to catch the puke...seriously?!!! I am sad, perplexed, nervous to go out...wanting to cancel our vacation and my working at Camp Kid Jam b/c I don't know how you deal w/ this much puke on the road...ahhhhhh!
Heal him Lord! Give me creativity to know how to help him...fill me back up w/ milk if that's what he needs!

You love him more than I do. Like we pray every night when we lay our kids down..."Lord, meet his needs when I can't."

What we've been up to lately!

2009-06-22T10:49:00.003-04:00

Soooo sorry it's been a while since the last post! I guess that is all good news! We are good...full swing into summer, the pool, watering flowers, potty training, watching Wyatt sit up...and spit up! HE HE!
One of the fun quotes of Caroline during the last 10 days since we began potty trainging:
Me: Caroline are you going to go pee pee on the potty.
CDH: Yeah. Someday.

I laughed out loud! She really is doing well with it. No accidents yesterday except in the pull up at church and during her nap...but that is to be expected I think. She loves a bit of chocolate w/ her successes! Don't we all!
Wyatt is just getting so big. The last few days have been weird w/ some projectile vomiting - yuck - but...he is happy as a clam after...maybe the slightest of a temp like 99.2 or something...but nothing crazy weird. So I am watching him today. He has kept down breakfast so far...and sleeping like a champ right now.

I love going to the pool with them. I was worried about how I would do it with two...but they are awesome. I hold WCH in the left arm and the right arm is available for the jumping craziness of Caroline! She said to me the other day. Summertime is fun mom! I love it!

Here are some pics for what our days have looked like recently.

Oh yeah...I went blond for about 6 weeks as a surprise to Jason! I am back brunette now! What we do for our men! :)

6 Month Stats

2009-06-07T19:51:00.001-04:00

Quickly - Wyatt had his 6 month check up and did great...here are his stats:

17 lb. 4 oz (50%)
27 1/4 in (75%)

He's HUGE!

Wyatt

2009-06-05T22:37:00.002-04:00

My dear sweet Son: Tonight I looked at you laying in your crib, comfortable, arms out, breathing easy, and I am thankful. You are 6 months old today. They have flown, the days, they are just gone before I feel like I can truly capture them in my heart. Your smile does something to me...those dimples...the way your eyes light up...your slathering of kisses on my cheek...you are my son and I Love being your mom!
You conquered so much in your first few weeks here on earth that amazingly I have almost forgotten about that time of the NICU and Scottish Rite. Honestly, there were moments when you were so sick before we knew why, when I looked at Jason and said that I was scared that the Lord was only going to have you here for a short while...but then...you got better after 9 long days at the hospital...we came home finally celebrated Christmas, Grammy went back to Kansas, and you-me-Caroline and Daddy figured it out...how to be a family of 4.
Did I mention that I love being your mom?

You babble and squeal and I love it.
You still cry during feeding times, I don't know why...but we've got our way.
You are a snuggler.
You delight in people.
You love your neck to be kissed.
You think your sister is pretty darn fun to watch.
You think Caroline is funny.
You love bath time.
You calm to the song "Jesus Loves Me"
You delight in most things....

I delight in you!

I know you will never be this small again. I can't dwell on sadness of today gone, b/c I know that tomorrow will be so much fun!

Wyatt Christopher...I love you! I am proud of you! I have learned much from you already!
"Oh that you would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory. That your hand would be with me, that you would keep me from harm that I may not cause pain." 1 Chron 4:10

Dress Up, Growing Up, Stories and more...

2009-05-28T20:13:00.003-04:00

So much to fill you all in on...I will try to just hit the highlights...

Trip to Kansas was GREAT! Thanks to my mom who flew to Nashville then drove with us to KC and back again to Nashville on the return trip. My kiddos did AMAZING considering it took a total 16.5 hr on the way out and 18.5 hours on the way back...they were troopers! A rite of passage for sure.
Kansas was wonderful. I love watching Caroline w/ her cousins...learning about playing dress-ups (see the pic), celebrating Mother's Day w/ my mom, sis-in-law, and grandmother (see pic of me and kiddos) I don't know when the last time I was home for mother's day was...and just watching the cousins love and learn from one another (see the pic of all 6 grandkids)...I LOVE home and miss it everyday!
Wyatt is holy cow almost 6 months old! He is rolling over so much so that he sometimes forgets to take his naps in the morning b/c he loves rolling so much. He has found his feet, he totally watches his sister with delight now, he is our delight. He now is eating 3 meals a day...wow...I just made baby food today...I love home making...
Famous quotes of Caroline these days:
(after watching our wedding video) "Where's Caroline's wedding?"

Caroline has about 40 different nick names and we just hadn't settled on one for Wyatt yet. We call him "WC" sometimes...but Uncle Jeff (Jason's bro) came up with "Dub" for him...we love it...we've been calling him "Dub" since this past weekend...Caroline however says "Doug"...it makes me laugh even as I type. I tried to get her to watch my mouth and see the difference in a "b" and "g" sound...I go "No baby it's Dub." To which she goes with delight like "I know mom" "Doug"...hilarious!

Okay so those are just some of the favorites.
I personally have been doing a lot of growing...sometime I'll post about it...but I am just coming out on the other side of a pretty dark time and am rejoicing at the Lord once again meeting me where I am at and restoring me!

Oh, the final Caroline thing...(after watching our wedding video again today) I was explaining about saying our vows, and that they are like promises daddy and I made to each other. She said she wanted to make a promise. I told her she would some day to her husband. And she said she wanted to marry "Mr. Adam" (that would be Adam Cantrell..hilarious). I told her he was already married. Then I told her that I love praying for her husband and did she want to pray for him. She said yes, so today she and I prayed for her mate together...pretty cool!

Sweet Caroline

2009-05-22T15:12:00.003-04:00

Caught our daughter singing her song.

Baby Isaac & Baby Susie

2009-05-01T20:34:00.002-04:00

Okay so meet Caroline's babies that have finally gotten names Baby Susie (in honor of Susannah Burns that babysits the kids and is a DEAR DEAR friend), and Baby Isaac (in honor of my brother's 4th just born in Feb)...these two go most places w/ Caroline these days. Nice shades too I might add! It has been a favorite of late to hear her wailing "Sweet Caroline...bum bum bum..." in the monitor!

Wyatt is doing really well. I am struggling still w/ some of his feedings later in the day trying to figure out if he is getting enough...ahhh again I wish for the see through boob!

This next Wed (6th) we leave (me, and 2 kiddos) in the car for our first road trip to Kansas. Since Caroline is no longer free I decided that I would try it in the car w/ them. We'll drive to Nashville and stay w/ my buddies Chris and Brea (who Wyatt is named after) and my mom will actually fly into Nashville and drive the next day w/ me the rest of the way to KC. We'll be there until the 15th and then do it all again! I'm looking forward to the experience and feel like everyone should do this w/ their kids! It's a rite of passage isn't it?

That said I am sure I will have lots of stories from Kansas in the next post!

Engagement

2009-04-21T14:03:00.002-04:00

So 5 years ago tonight Jason asked me to marry him! Wow! I am so thankful. I love our story honey. I love how you protected my heart. I love how we waited to say "I love you" until you put that ring on my finger. I love how God surprised you and I with this ring. I love the conversation you had w/ my dad that I knew nothing about. I love you. I still choose you. I would still say YES!

Another fun thing- my daughter walked up to me while we were outside planting some hosta bushes and she said, "God lives in my heart mom." Wow! I teared up immediately. She has been requesting that we read a book that my mom gave her called "How Big is God" by Lisa Tawn Bergren - its a great book - but I truly think she gets it. I know there are some of you out there who think you've got to have that "moment" in Sunday school, or church where you "pray the prayer"...but I don't have one of those. I honestly can't remember a time when God, Jesus, Christ wasn't a part of my daily conversation w/ others or w/ him. I pray that is so for Caroline and Wyatt also. I know she believes that God lives in her heart, and I pray that she never goes a day w/o talking about him and to him!

Stats

2009-04-20T10:07:00.002-04:00

Wyatt @ his 4 month check up is:

15 lb 2 oz (60%)
25.5 in (75%)

We had some drama at the apt. The nurse accidentally stuck her finger after she gave Wyatt his shot - which then meant b/c of OSHA regulations they had to draw blood from Wyatt! AHHH! Three sticks later, three nurses later, one blown vein, lots of crying from a baby and his momma they got it! Woo hoo! Felt so bad for the nurse that it happened to...we are good though! Just thought I'd share the boys stats!

2009-04-16T09:20:00.002-04:00

Wyatt 4 month pics

2009-04-16T09:11:00.002-04:00

Just a little something to wet your whistle...precious pics taken by Mandy Miller...she is AWESOME! She took 3 month pics of Caroline and we loved them so much we asked her to take Wyatt's also...isn't he precious?

Hug 'em while you can

2009-03-30T14:02:00.002-04:00

The other night I went in and picked Wyatt up out of his crib and just held him and cried. He won't be small forever - there is a joy in knowing that - but an honest sadness too. I remember thinking that I didn't take opportunities to hold Caroline while she was sleeping enough when she was little...I'm trying to do this w/ Wyatt. As I was holding him , I was just struck again with this awesomeness of his miracle birth. That knot in the cord still gets me. He shouldn't be as perfect as he is...
Now skip ahead to a little conversation the Lord and I had one night. I'm standing there at the counter checking my blood sugar before I go to bed and I just say "I hate this Lord. I hate being diabetic." I don't (or try not to) complain about this aspect of my life, I honestly don't give it much thought other than taking care of myself most of the time - and I sure don't ask this next question that much either - but the other night I found myself asking the Lord "Why"...Why did I have this - what is HIS purpose in it. I want to make sure that I don't miss what He wants to teach me about Him through being diabetic. So then fast forward to me holding Wyatt in the night and being so amazed at his safe birth and delivery despite that knot in the cord. I realized that if I am diabetic only for the reason that when I am prego I got to the doc every week in the end for a sonogram. Non-high risk pregnancies do not do this. When I was there we discovered my low fluid level so they induced right away. They attribute the low fluid to the knot in his cord...we never would have seen the low fluid...until maybe it was too late if I wasn't diabetic. So Lord, if you have allowed me to be diabetic for the purpose of Wyatt's birth...then so be it!
Sigh...
He will be 4 months this coming Sunday. She is two and wanting to sit on the potty...tomorrow she will be dating, and he will be horrified at my kisses...
So I will hold him today, and kiss on her today!

Swingset & Sandbox

2009-03-24T14:21:00.002-04:00

So this is the swingset we were able to get for FREE for Caroline. Then Jason and I had an idea to make a sandbox underneath the tower...Jason finished it last night, wrote "Love Dad" in the sand and Caroline found it this morning! So fun!

Happy Birthday to our little girl!!!

2009-03-18T09:56:00.002-04:00

Caroline's big day was Tuesday! She is ALL TWO! She is wanting to do things by herself - is very needy of of mom these days - her verbal skills are so fun to watch. She is into prepositions...Caroline is in not out. Mommy is downstairs not upstairs...etc. We are excited about the amazing swing set that the Payne's gave us b/c their girls have outgrown it! Caroline loves to swing and slide...it is usually one of the first things she talks about during the day! Enjoy pics from her day on Tuesday! And yes...those are green waffles for breakfast (gotta love a bday on St. Patricks Day)

Wyatt 3 Months

2009-03-13T14:46:00.003-04:00

Sorry no post recently. Wyatt turned 3 months while we were in KC last week. Here are a few shots of us there in Kansas. The big fam picture is of my brother Darren, his wife Teri, their 4 kids (Emma Kate 9, Penner 5, Mac Henry 2, Isaac 2 weeks), Jason, me, Caroline and Wyatt! Enjoy!

Lessons of an almost 2 year old

2009-02-18T21:45:00.002-05:00

The photos: learning how to hold Wyatt...and the other one ...well these were her words "Caroline feed my mouse now"...she then proceeded to sit in the chair that I feed Wyatt in, put the boppy around her, hold her little mouse, and lift up her shirt...hilarious! Enjoy!

Learning from a little one

2009-02-12T20:04:00.002-05:00

Caroline this week has truly continued to amaze me. I love seeing how the Lord is using her to continue to teach me and remind me of things I am supposed to know and then act out in my life. Earlier this week as she and I were eating our lunch - I hear her say "Give us our daily bread" - pause - that's when I went into slow mo and realized my daughter was beginning to say the Lord's prayer to me..."and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors and lead us not into temptation"...Oh my! (now realize that there were some missing syllables but all in all this is what she said). Now, for some background on this came to be in her little brain.
My mom recorded a Grandchilds CD about 2 years ago for her grandkids(only 3 at the time...now we are expecting #6 - my brother's 4th any day). On this CD are prayers she has for them, scripture she prays for them, stories, music that means a lot to our family, pig latin lessons etc...on there is the Lord's Prayer. We always and only "listen to Grammy" in the car b/c that is what is requested by the Boo. What the lesson was for me was this: There is never an idle moment to train the heart of a child. Things heard over and over and over WILL impact your heart...whether or not it is scripture, Maroon 5, encouragement, the words I LOVE YOU...whatever the words are they penetrate you heart. This is a sobering thought and a challenge to continue to use even time in the car as a learning moment.

The next thing she taught me was today. She had fallen asleep in the car and like lots of kids never makes the transfer upstairs to her bed for a real nap, she always wakes up. Today was no different. I however, wanted her to have some quiet time in her bed - I didn't care if she slept, or talked to the hundreds of creatures that share her bed...she just needed to be up there for awhile while I fed Wyatt etc. Well, soon after I get started feeding WCH I hear little feet (so unusual she has never done this before), I ask her to come to me, she does willingly yet a little slow. I ask her if nap time was over and if she was supposed to be out of her bed. She proceeded to turn around lip out walk herself back upstairs to her room. She came out one more time, down the stairs, I asked her to come to me. I asked the same questions...lip out she turned walked up the stairs crying the whole way, went back in her room, shut the door, climbed in bed and waited for me to come get her. What an act of obedience. I was so proud of her. Still am. She DID NOT want to do it...hence the tears...but she did it anyway. What an amazing reminder that even when we don't want to...even if we cry the whole time...the Lord still wants us to be obedient - not asking Why - or giving an alternative...He's okay w/ the tears just not disobedience.
Oh that I will grown up to be like her....thanks for the lessons through just a little babe Lord!

Wyatt

2009-02-06T13:47:00.003-05:00

Two Months Today

2009-02-05T14:25:00.004-05:00

Wyatt is 2 months old today! How did that happen? Here is a fun pic. I will add his stats tomorrow when we go to the doc for his check up. He still has a bit of the diaper rash, he has started to coo and is smiling at us...and is a master at blowing out his diaper! Love this boy!
Just returned from the doc!
STATS:
Weight: 12 lb. 5.5 oz (75%)
Length: 24.5 in (95%) (side note when does it become height instead of length...when they can stand?)

What's up my Peeps

2009-02-05T14:23:00.004-05:00

Ummm hilarious shot of Caroline sporting her daddy's stocking cap! I loved it!

Fam time

2009-01-24T09:46:00.002-05:00

Daddy time...things to note: the chunk of a man child, and the double french braids in the girls hair!
Also a pic w/ their Mimi and Pops,Papa, Papa G (we're not quite sure what Jason's dad will be called).

We are doing well...there is still a diaper rash on our poor boy...but the dermatologist didn't seem surprised. Another thing to note: yesterday, Friday, was the first Friday since maybe late summer that I haven't had to be at a doctor! We loved it!

Nursery

2009-01-24T09:42:00.002-05:00

I don't think I've put a pic of Wyatt's nursery on the blog yet...so here you go...and here is a pic of his first nap in his crib! He's 7 weeks by the way - holy cow!

Things I love

2009-01-16T13:44:00.002-05:00

I love watching Caroline develop. Here's the latest on our girl...she hasn't gotten some air time in awhile.
She is saying her alphabet up to the letter L...skipping a few then getting back in the swing for some of the end and bringing it home strong for "sing with me". Most fun to report though is this. Caroline has a verse that we chose for her before she was born and it is on the wall of her room above her bed. "Teach me your way and I will walk in your truth. Give me an undivided heart that I may fear your name. Psalm 86:11" We say this verse most nights before bed. The other day I was laying in bed w/ her at the end of her nap and she looked up to her verse and said "abc". I then asked her if she knew what it said...then she responded w/ "Walk in truth". What a wonderful thing for a mom to hear...yes my dear, walk in truth.

What you REALLY want

2009-01-14T13:35:00.003-05:00

Ok what you all really want is some pics of our crew!

Check out Caroline visiting Fragill Rock - I mean really those pony tails are hilarious...also see my chunk of a man child...we are trying a 3.5 hour schedule yesterday and today...so far so good. He is still sleeping 6-7 hrs at night which is fabulous.
In all...we are good. Excited about reentry into the world in the next couple of weeks...loving being home...wishing I had something left to give Jason when he gets home...but I know that will come.

The Chunk

2009-01-09T14:25:00.002-05:00

The dermatologist says that it is a yeast infection and has given us yet two different topicals for Wyatt's toosh. I think there is improvement, but really folks, I've looked at it so much I have no idea any more. We will go see Derm. next Friday the 16th for a look to see if we've gotten over it.
I took Wyatt to the pediatrician today for his one month appointment. Holy cow...one month already. Wyatt is huge compared to Caroline...

Weight: 10 lb. 9 oz (that's right one more lb since last friday) 75%
Length: 23 inches 95%

Everything besides his toosh looks great they said! Hopefully, we'll not see Dr. Cox until February.

I think this time around I am holding Wyatt more...well, when he isn't airing out several hours a day... I am allowing myself that freedom, where with Caroline I don't think I did as much.

I love being a mom. I love watching both of them, watching Caroline reach for Wyatts hand in the double stroller (which does fit through doors), pray for Wyatt, watching his eyes find mine...hearing his little grunts in the night...I love this...I love the fatigue of knowing the huge responsibility the Lord has given us. What a wonderful kind of tired.

New Pics

2009-01-06T20:21:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow at 9:45am Wyatt has an appointment w/ a dermatologist! Praise the Lord! I am so ready for someone to know what to do w/ our boys toosh! It is better...just not 100% so I called the doc again and told him what was up and he said it is time to go to the dermatologist. Hopefully we will have some answers tomorrow.
Enjoy the pics of Caroline post "washing dishes" and our first family of 4 pic!

It's like a spa

2009-01-04T19:49:00.004-05:00

I feel like I am in a spa now that we are home. My bed is oh so comfy...the shower, the towels, food, windows...we are lovin' being home.
On Friday morning we had "Christmas" at our house and it was wonderful. The kids on their matching pj's which they stayed in all day...well, Wyatt did until it was time to air him out. Caroline did a great job opening some presents and is loving her new toys.
Wyatt went to the doc on Friday afternoon and is weighing in at 9 lb 9.5 oz (Caroline wasn't this big until month 2) - so that is great news. His lungs sounded "fully recovered" Dr. Cox said...his poor bottom is another issue, but we are giving these antibiotics an opportunity to really run their course and 3 days in I think we are seeing improvement.

Wyatt spends most of his day laying on his tummy, sans diaper on many layers of towels wrapped in blankets. When I nurse we put him in a diaper w/ some various cream, ointment, antibiotic, or now we've been using some corn starch. After I nurse we rinse him off in the sink, then blow his tush dry w/ the hair dryer. About 2-3x a day we do a little sitz bath...blow him dry etc...so you can imagine how many loads of laundry we've been doing each day...woah! But I think there is improvement. The color is still the same, but the width is shrinking...

Enjoy the pics from the last couple of days.

Oh yeah...Jason just took mom to the airport...a very teary thankful goodbye...I managed to get Caroline bathed and to bed and then Wyatt nursed all by myself. One night down...a bagillion to go! :)

Home

2009-01-01T13:41:00.002-05:00

Insert Michael Buble singing "Home"! We are heading there within the next hour or so. Waiting on discharge papers, prescriptions, and Jason w/ a car! We are heading home! Did I mention that we are going home today? Wyatt and I have spent 14 days total I think in the hospital since he was born! Praise Jesus we are going home! No nebulizer treatments, no nothing for this stinkin' RSV...going home w/ two prescrips. for his toosh however! We are going home!

Thank you for all of your prayers! We are going HOME!

Possibly...

2009-01-01T12:47:00.002-05:00

So the doc came in this morning and was thrilled that Wyatt was off Oxygen! We really only talked about that for a couple minutes then attention turned to Wyatt's bottom. He said he would've thought there would be an improvement by now w/ all that we are doing. He now thinks that this is a bacterial infection on his bottom. He began to say things like "if you're nervous to do the antibiotics at home, or don't think you can get in to see your pediatrician tomorrow then we'll keep him and look at it tomorrow"...I was listening to him speak and then said "wait we could go home today?" he said yeah maybe. I said the whole 24 hour thing and he said you know it's really 8-12 hours and making it through a couple of sleep cycles and you could go home. I told him I didn't feel like I could make that call b/c we want to be home so badly. Doc said, okay I'll make the decision. Let's see how he does w/ the first treatment of the antibiotic and I'll be back in this afternoon and let you know what we are going to do.

Honestly, I'd love to go home, but one more night at this point is nothin'! But folks...it could be TODAY!!!
The concern now is his bottom, not his lungs...so great!

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T08:51:00.002-05:00

Wyatt remained on a 1/2 liter all day yesterday - however his numbers looked like they were going to need to bump him up in the night again...he was in the low 90's and even dipping into the mid to upper 80's at times. So I was preparing for that to happen again.
Mom stayed the day w/ me and was leaving after the 6pm feeding to go home so Jason could come down to "ring in the new year" w/ me...the nurse came in around 7pm to say hi and she was going over to bump his O2 up and she looked at the oxygen and was like where is he plugged in..I said right there and she said no he isn't his tube isn't attached...well we laughed b/c he was in the upper 80's and low 90's not on O2. So she reattached it and his levels obviously went up. She mentioned this to RT and when he came in he listened and said that his lungs sounded really good and he would just listed each time before I nursed and we'd go from there...but no suction needed. At the 6am feeding Ike (our RT - like the name Darren and Teri? - this is what they are naming number 4 baby to be born in early March...well Isaac and they will call him Ike) came in and he was getting ready to assess him...and I said "Ike, look, he pulled his nasal canula out" Wyatt's number are in the low to mid 90's sleeping...WOW! We have taken him off of O2 since then and he is holding strong! Praise the Lord. I called to tell my dad and he was making sure he had the story straight so he could send an email out to their small group and daddy said "Ok so sometime between 2 and 6am the Lord took Wyatt's O2 tube out and he's been doing fine" I loved that phrasing...the Lord took the O2 tube out...yes He did!
So, I am trying to emotionally prepare that they may have to put him back on O2, even if a little sometime today...but the prayer for all of you b/c I just don't know if I can pray it...is that Wyatt will remain off of O2 for another 24 hours until tomorrow morning and we may just get to bust out of here! Oh sweet Jesus!
Day # 9 here at the hospital might just be our most fun yet!

Happy New Year little Wyatt!

New Mercies

2008-12-31T10:21:00.003-05:00

Okay....

Dad called this morning and said he thinks mom should stay until Sunday! A new Mercy

Wyatt's diaper rash looks better...not quite as purple more just red! A new mercy

Doc has taken Wyatt off of the nebulizer treatments b/c he isn't wheezing and his lungs sound pretty good. He says that while the treatments help open the airways they can sometimes actually mess w/ the blood flow which would affect the O2 levels. A new mercy

Wyatt is sleeping on a 1/2 liter and maintaining a 98% O2 level. A new mercy

New Mercies are an amazing thing!

Keeping the Vigil

2008-12-31T05:27:00.002-05:00

That's what my mom calls it...keeping the vigil. So it is 5:27am and Wyatt is finally asleep. For those of you Baby Wisers out there this is very hard for me. I am used to letting a baby cry it out and not have sleep aides, like rocking to sleep, a passy, holding him...actually before he got sick Wyatt wasn't crying at all at night anymore - we would nurse and he would sleep sometimes up to 5 hours...then here we are at the hotel Childrens' and when my kids are sick I know it is a different game and I don't let them cry it out. Sooooooo he slept from the 9pm feeding to 12:30 when the RT came in for treatment, I nursed at 1am...and put him down to sleep....and here we are at 5:30am and he is finally sleeping - after one more feeding at 4 am and another RT treatment at 5 am...he had been on 1/2 a liter of O2 all night (I am sure only b/c he wasn't asleep) and I was right b/c as soon as he fell asleep a few min ago he began to go down in his numbers, alarms began sounding so I went and got the nurse and we've just turned his O2 back up to 1 liter.
Oh Lord for a turning point ... his bottom, his O2 levels....something.
Sometimes it is hard to not imagine that it is something much worse that is keeping us here. The doc assures me it isn't...it just flat out (everyone with me now) "TAKES TIME".

Because he is actually sleeping I should be too. More later as I know it.

Today

2008-12-30T16:57:00.002-05:00

Quick update:
Wyatt still on 1 liter of O2. Did a chest xray and it is completely clear (thank you Jesus). However, they did discover that he has a fracture in his clavical...I mean really....this happened during birth but no one had detected it until the xray today...is this hilarious that there is yet another thing??? Doc says it'll heal fast and he probably isn't in pain from it...wow!
He's got O2 blowing on his toosh as we speak...it's not worse...that is good. Doc said again today "It just takes time" I told him I was tired of hearing that...we both chuckled.
That's it for now.

Mom leaves Thursday at the crack of dawn. My heart is aching w/ her leaving. We didn't get to do all the stuff we were gonna do together. I had stuff to learn from her about doing "two"...but she did say yesterday that if there is a light from this...she said she truly feels like she "knows" Caroline. I am thankful for that b/c Caroline is worth knowing...and vice versa...mom is worth knowing too.

More later.

The Dark

2008-12-30T05:52:00.002-05:00

Night time does funny things to the mind. The dark always feels more lonely, scary, daunting...tonight no different.

Let's recap first that I finally did go to the urgent care place and indeed got me a Z-Pack! Woo hoo! So thankful for some drugs. Praying that it doesn't affect my milk supply too much. Yesterday was a very hopeful day for me. Wyatt seemed to be improving...he did a 1/2 liter of O2 all day and I was pumped about drugs. Then Jason left and things for me always seem a little harder once he leaves.

The diaper changes - oh his poor little bottom. And honestly, I don't know what more we can do to help heal it...I guess that is another thing that just takes time...
The RT came in (respiratory therapist) and as he listened to Wyatt's lungs he said that the top part of them sound real good and clear...but the bottom of his lungs were still too wet. He saw that WCH was still on a 1/2 liter and he got a little fiesty (which i like) that after 6 days he shouldn't need that much O2. So he did his deal at 9pm and said that he wanted to try a different kind of treatment and would call the doc to get it approved and we would go from there. Doc approved it. It is just a more aggressive approach to getting all the mucus out. First deep suction (tube going down his hose through nasal passage to back of throat) and they suck out gunk...then the new breathing treatment is a mask that is held onto his face and it actually uses more pressure and forces the medicine and air into the lungs. The hope is that this will force the lower part of his lungs to force out the mucus down there. I HATE WATCHING THIS BEING DONE! I hold his little arms down and try to hold his head in place while he is screaming his head off. I told Jason last night on the phone that this is so hard b/c I know he needs it...yet I also feel this pull to be his "voice" and what if I just need to say one time "ok that's enough"...Wyatt doesn't have a voice...that's my responsibility. Oh for wisdom!
In addition to that Wyatt is back up to 1 liter of O2 tonight..he just can't seem to maintain the lower levels when he is sleeping.
I am thankful that he seems to continue to nurse well...and when he doesn't have a dirty diaper he sleeps well.

I am anxious for the sun to rise. Remembering that again His mercies are new every morning and we will attack our 7th day in the hospital as best we can.

Time keeps on ticking...

2008-12-29T13:54:00.002-05:00

Here's the latest folks.
Last night began looking like it'd be a long one. Mom stayed w/ me while Jason went home to spend the evening w/ Caroline and bathe and put her to bed! Sooooo good for them both. Mom was here w/ me and that was good for my heart. I mean...mom has been here since the 4th and I have been in the hospital 13 of those days! She leaves on Thursday this week...I would love to be home at least by Wed night so we can all be home one night together before she leaves. I miss kicking her butt in the card game spit...a ritual when we get together.

So Wyatt - he stayed on 1 liter of O2 through the night - we are giving him little "sitz" baths for his bottom - we are putting O2 on his bottom several times a day - a yet another cream...silvadine (sp) is what we are going for now. Wyatt was pretty restless until about 3 am b/c of diapers, treatments, vitals etc. But then he calmed and slept until 6am. That means he fed at 12:30am and went all the way to 6 am for the next feeding...that's 5.5 hours folks! In the midst of all of this..that is honestly pretty impressive.

This morning I looked at him and said ok bud we're going to have a good day today. I am going to try not to cry as much, and you do the same. The doc came in and said he's looking good but just know that "this takes time"...I don't know how many times we've heard that...but it's the truth. We are on about day 8 or 9 of him having symptoms... we are in day 6 in the hospital...doc said it can take around 10 days to run it's course. Currently Wyatt is on 1/2 liter of O2...that is an improvement. I pray he can maintain this throughout the day and more importantly throughout the night.

In regards to me...my symptoms are not improving. I am thinking that I have either a sinus infection or sadly the same thing as Wyatt - RSV. Adults can get it too and it is just a BAD cold...but like w/ him there will be no treatment possible...just has to run it's course. I am going to try to sneak to an urgent care facility in between feedings this afternoon and maybe get some drugs to knock this out. When have you ever hoped for a sinus infection...I am today b/c that'll mean I can get some drugs.

The docs have also told us that once we get home they are recommending that we don't venture out for at least a month...and that we are careful about people coming over as well. So just know that we will probably be ultra conservative w/ who we see, when we see you, where we see you...etc. Please don't take anything personally.

Thank you so much for your prayers. The Lords mercies are new every morning. When I sing these words to Wyatt I tear up every time. We all know these words since we were little...but somehow singing them to him makes all the more sense.

" Jesus loves me this I know. For the bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak, but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. The bible tells me so."

I am thankful that is truth. More as we know it.

Today

2008-12-28T17:51:00.002-05:00

Last night Wyatt and I both got some good sleep. Thankful for that. However, today has been a hard day. He seems to be in so much pain from his bad diaper rash that it affects how he breathes. So he is bouncing around on 1 liter to a 1/2 liter of O2...can't quite find the way to soothe him. We let him air out while holding an oxygen mask to his toosh (oxygen is a healing agent) but then he pees and that stings his bottom and he freaks out which then causes the cycle to start again. So I believe that if we can get his bottom healed his breathing would improve.
Jason kicked me out w/ my mom this afternoon. Mom and I went to lunch, and then bought some new slippers. I am thankful for the fresh air...but then so glad to be back w/ Wyatt. It breaks my heart to hear him cry. Like he is right now. It's everything from the tape on his face that is irritating, to the rash on his bottom that anytime he goes he cries in pain...to the suction treatment...the only thing that he doesn't cry at is feeding...and when he can fall asleep that...

So pray that his diaper rash really heals. And that our little guy can continue to make it on 1/2 liter O2.

I am so thankful for the nurses and my constant "hey can we try this" suggestions.

Thank you for praying.

All Things New

2008-12-27T13:37:00.002-05:00

Last night I actually got about 2 different 2.5 hr stretches of sleep! Woo hoo! Wyatt went 4 hours, but after nursing he would then have his breathing treatment and suction and so we'd end up being up about 1.5 hrs...he did well for the most part. Sometimes, it was hard for him to settle back in and go to sleep. The poor little guy also has a killer diaper rash that we can't seem to get rid of. I promise you we are trying everything - even down to naked time w/ the oxygen mask blowing on his toosh. Now we are doing what we did w/ Caroline and have switched him to chlorine free diapers hoping that will make as much of a difference w/ him as it did with her.
This morning when Caroline arrived, my mom stayed w/ Wyatt and we took Caroline over to Perimeter Mall for a little adventure. It was good for me to leave the hospital and have some time w/ the boo! She made her first trip into Claire's and we got some oh so gorgeous necklaces!
Wyatt is about the same today. This process is really a slow one. The doc told us yesterday that it is a "2 steps forward 1 step back" kind of a deal. I feel like yesterday was a bit of a one step back day...today feels the same. He is actually on .5 liter of Oxygen. I am hopeful he can drop to 1/4 liter sometime today and then tomorrow totally come off the oxygen.

I appreciate everyone's concerns w/ how I am doing. I feel like I am getting rest and honestly that the Lord is sustaining me. Providing endurance when at 2am I just don't think I can sing another refrain of Amazing Grace. But then somehow I find myself 4 more songs into the list trying to soothe Wyatt.

Here are the prayers I feel like we have for today: go to 1/4 liter Oxygen, cleared up diaper rash, my cold to go away

Thank you so much! More later as we know it.

Christmas The Day After

2008-12-26T13:26:00.002-05:00

Hey Everyone-

We are still hanging out at The Children's Network of Atlanta. Wyatt is doing better. The doctor told us this is a 2 steps forward 1 step back process. He is still on 1 liter of oxygen but his lungs are clear. So, we are waiting on his little bracial(sp?) sacs to kick in so we can load and celebrate Christmas in Cumming! This could be in 1 day or 5 days. It is just time. Yesterday, Santa and his elves(a church group from Calhun)came to visit. John Smoltz was here as well but he saw the older kids. They brought toys for Wyatt and Caroline!!! It brought me to tears because people gave up part of their Christmas to visit kids who are not home for Christmas. I have NEVER done that and it made me realize how selfish I can be. Thanks for all the prayers, calls and text. We are trying to get some good rest this afternoon since last night the stupid alarm on the monitor went off every 2 minutes. It is a haunting feeling as a father to know that I am not in control and that our Heavenly Father is. Another thought that came to me over the last few days as well. That God loves Wyatt more than I do!!! Ponder that for a while. Anyway, this is a Merry Christmas for the Hodges based on the fact that this has caused us to slow down and think. There are a ton of people giving up their Christmas to keep our son healthy.

Jason

Santa comes to Childrens

2008-12-25T13:38:00.004-05:00

Wyatt and I had a good night. He slept well and nursed well...all good things in his world. They didn't have to increase his oxygen which is another good thing. Every time before I feed I ask for the respiratory therapist to come and deep suction him (not a pretty thing, but gets the nasty mucus out of his airway (back of throat and nose) and then as needed they do a breathing treatment and then I nurse. He feeds so much better when he has the ability to breathe. Remember that newborns have no idea they can breathe through their mouth, so that is why this is such a nasty thing to have in a newborn.
At the 9am feeding they lowered his oxygen to 1/2 a liter and will try to wean him totally off over the next few hours. He has to be completely off oxygen for 24 hours before we can go home. They have also taken him off of iv fluids b/c he is nursing so well! Thankful for that. Another good thing is that so far none of the cultures are growing from his blood, urine, and spinal fluid...all blessings.
A group of Santa's elves and Santa arrived shortly after mom, dad,Jason and Caroline arrived. They are from a church in Conyers...so thankful for them. They had a bag of newborn toys for Wyatt, and even gave Caroline a puzzle. Makes you so thankful for people who are thinking of someone else today... I feel so selfish b/c I am really only able to think of what's happening w/ Wyatt today. I barely can think of anyone else...I actually asked mom to take Caroline home (for her nap yes) but it is honestly harder to have her here sometimes for a long time b/c I just can't...oh the tears. Don't misunderstand my tears for ungratefulness...I'm just weepy today.

So we're just chillin'

Dad has gone to the airport to get on a flight home to Kansas. Thanks for coming daddy...sorry it looked a little different than we thought.

All I want for Christmas...

2008-12-24T21:10:00.002-05:00

Is a healthy boy. Well friends we find ourselves in another health situation. Since Monday I have watched Wyatt work a little harder to breathe and it just didn't seem "normal". I was watching for a fever and decreased appetite as well but those things never showed up until this morning. Wyatt only nursed like 4 min at the 6 am feeding, and was laboring pretty hard to breathe. So we loaded him up and went to the doc (we love our pediatrician by the way). They looked him over, saw that his pulse/ox was low, hooked him up to some oxygen and a nebulizer treatment and told us that they suspected it was RSV. They concluded that it was and told us that they had called the ambulance to come and get us and take us to Scottish Rite Children's Hospital. That is when I started to cry. I just didn't think we would journey in a siren blaring, traffic dodging ambulance. We arrived at noon and began to get some of the best treatment ever. They began w/ respiratory therapy, and the docs saw us right away. Wyatt had to get a catheter to check his urine for any kind of infection, they drew blood and put in an iv line, and then had to do a lumbar puncture to check his spinal fluid for any kind of infection. So far everything looks normal besides the RSV. We are now in our room (321) on Christmas eve trying to remember that there really is more to Christmas than what everyone in the world tells us.
Caroline is at home w/ my parents - totally unaware that tomorrow is Christmas. So we will celebrate when we get out on the hotel Childrens. They are saying that will probably be about 3 days.
We will update as we know more. Right now Jason and I are mentally and emotionally exhausted. Pray that the sleep I get in between feedings will feel like double the sleep as I am fighting a pretty good cold myself...but alas I am the milk supply!
I am thankful tonight for a husband who didn't hem or haw at my "intuition" this morning and was right alongside me when I said we needed to go to the doc. Thankful for a husband who helps me blow my nose while I am nursing...thankful for a daughter who is flexible and is rolling w/ the punches. Thankful for really smart doctors, Firemen, EMS, ER docs and nurses, and our accute care docs and nurses.
Thankful for a savior who came as a tiny baby boy...to remind us all that he came for us...not pretentious...just him...for us...thanks Lord! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Health Update

2008-12-22T20:10:00.002-05:00

This is not for the weary...we actually are doing really really well despite...

Wyatt now has Caroline's runny nose and cough but the doc said that he is actually doing really well and there is not a concern w/ a newborn having a cold. He did say we need to watch for changes - mainly difficulty breathing and a fever - so those are our prayers. Side note...ummmm he likes to eat and now weighs 8 lb 14.5 oz...that's right folks...I need to go back and see how long it took Caroline to gain a pound after birth. I do know that is was longer than two weeks!

Caroline however has an ear infection. She's on antibiotics now and honestly we had a little glimmer of our joyful Caroline this afternoon...it was so great.

I have a slight fever today so am heading up to bed now (8:15pm) until the 10pm feeding. I am so very thankful for my mom who is helping like there is no tomorrow.

Oh yeah...did I mention Wyatt likes to eat...well he likes to sleep too and did two 5 hour stretches last night. Here's to hoping this becomes the norm...

I love my life. Even in the midst of snot, poop, umbilical cords that look nasty, antibiotics, and sudafed! We are good.

Just wanted to update those few of you who read.

Our house

2008-12-21T13:14:00.003-05:00

Well, Papa is finally here! We are so thankful for his safe arrival. Caroline has a runny nose, horrible cough, and today a slight fever (ahhhh). Wyatt now has a bit of a cough, and runny nose (ahhhh)...he still sleeps and eats well...Caroline struggling w/ the sleep part last night - I think mainly b/c she can't breathe...probably going to doc tomorrow if anything to ease my mind.

Here are some fun pics of the last week of our boy. He is growing holy cow is he growing.

Holding him

2008-12-14T10:12:00.003-05:00

So sorry that I didn't post this earlier. Our man is off the tanning bed. We went to the doc on Friday afternoon. His levels went down to 13.8 - being a week old this isn't a concern at that level so he got to come off of the bed. Side note he gained 1.5 oz since the day before (so he was 8lb. 1/2 oz almost back up to birth weight). I think it is safe to say that he is getting enough milk!

He has done really well at night, sleeping for a 4 hour stretch last night and not crying at all in between feedings! What a blessing. A schedule works! I am thankful.

Caroline continues to do fabulous w/ him. I will be honest I miss her. I know that may sound funny, but I miss her...or maybe I miss being able to just focus on her. I feel like I need to smother her w/ kisses at every chance and tell her how much I love her with every breath. She is just flat out a great kid! We are blessed. Currently she is off on an adventure w/ Jason's parents for the morning.

Life at home is good. It feels weird that it is Dec. 14 and even though I see Christmas all around me...I"m not sure it feels like Christmas. Maybe that will come.

My mom is still here (a great thing) and will be until New Years Day. Dad will be here around the 20th I think. Again, we are blessed.

Home Sweet Home

2008-12-11T16:23:00.003-05:00

It was wonderful to pull into our driveway and see Caroline's expression of ultimate joy when she realized mommy and daddy were home! Melt your heart. I really had no expectations of her meeting her brother...just didn't want her to hit him...anything else would be fine. Pics are here of their meeting. Very sweet, very loving, very interested in holding her baby brother.
Wyatt did great in the night. Sleeping and eating every 3 hours. It was great. We went to the doc today to have his levels checked again...sadly they went up to 17.3...not good! So they have sent a tanning bed to the casa - hence the boy strapped into his surgical looking gown on the bed. We go back tomorrow for another lab test. As long as the number stays the same or goes down we are good...don't know really what happens if it continues to go up at this point. Please pray for our boy.

It is wonderful to be home...taking naps in my bed, watching Caroline observe her brother...life is good.

Heading Home!!!!!

2008-12-10T15:44:00.002-05:00

Wyatt just got his little snip snip!! They will observe him until after the 6 o'clock feeding then we are off to the homestead!!! So ETA @ OTB is about 8pm. Thanks for all your prayers. Now we can go home and get some rest!

Jh

Sleeping

2008-12-10T10:27:00.003-05:00

We made it through the leaving and the night and are back at Northside. When we left, of course hard, and emotional. Jason, sweet Jason had chosen the song for our leaving when we got in the car and I lost it. We had a song for Caroline (obviously "Sweet Caroline") for when we left the hospital w/ her. So last night when I got in the car and he said he'd chosen a song for Wyatt and for us...I lost it. It was "Breathe on Me". The words were so perfect. Then we worshiped the rest of the way home. Singing through our tears and giving our boy into the Lords care. When we got home we unpacked, cried some more - set up the pump and set in for the night. I called at 3am and 6am to check on our boy and he had eaten 60 units at each feeding last night...that is 2 oz...holy cow! Good thing I am full w/ milk this time...I think he will be an eater!
When we arrived (after a long car drive b/c of the traffic) we found out that his levels had only slightly gone up - which is good. He is not on any lights and has been moved back into a normal little bassinet bed. He's all wrapped up sleeping peacefully. They have ordered the circumcision and I am hopeful for later today to be walking out w/ my son! We haven't heard those "official" words but all of the signs are there...no lights, normal bed, and a circumcision...ahhhh what a great day!
Jason here...just wanted to say I never thought I would be excited about a circumcision but really look forward to one this afternoon...Wyatt's that is.

Today

2008-12-09T18:59:00.003-05:00

Today has been a good day with out little boy. He continues to nurse well and has been fun to spend more time with him and watch his facial expressions. We have fun visitors today like: Diane Grant, Darcy Dickerson, Grammy, Caroline, and Mimi!
It was so great to have time w/ Caroline. She played on the bed with me, it was great to hear her laugh...I hadn't really heard that in days - amazing how you miss that. I cried again when she left b/c she won't be home when I go home (cross your fingers) tonight. She is off on a fun overnight at her Mimi's house tonight to then go to a tea party w/ her Mimi's friends and their grand-daughters...it will be good to all be home tomorrow.

So that brings me to Wyatt - the doc has taken him off the lights since 3pm and will let him "rebound" through the night. They do this to see how high his levels go. All do this, the key is to have it rebound into an okay range. So folks that is the prayer tonight. If his levels are around the 10 range he will get to come home tomorrow. If not, then I think we go back on the lights and go from there. The doc thinks all should be well...I am hopeful.

Pray for our leaving. I keep thinking Wyatt will be scared when we leave...but lets be honest he won't be...I might be, but shouldn't be.

Soooo here's to hoping we sleep in our bed tonight. We need to leave the hospital even if I don't want to leave my boy.

Wyatt update

2008-12-09T07:48:00.004-05:00

Our man has been moved from the level 1 NICU to the step down up on the 7th floor! Woo hoo! It is much quieter, more private, more calming and totally less "intense".
I slept well last night after seeing Wyatt at midnight, and dealing w/ not seeing Caroline....I told my mom this morning that last night I lost it for not just my children...but also what color clothes I was wearing. Those of you who've been pregnant know that the emotions sometimes make absolutely no sense...I was a wreck about everything last night...how is it that this morning I am so good? Weird.
Caroline is coming down for a good long visit this morning... I am so glad to see her. We are going to hit McDonalds together as a treat!
Here's to a good day! A day that I really think I'll get to go home, remain optimistic about our boy, but know he may be snoozing here one more night!

Jason wanted to add a shout out to Cliff for the reprieve from McD's and got some Chic-fil-a! Thanks Cliff!

ooops I did it again

2008-12-08T22:45:00.002-05:00

With Brittany Spears come back happening i thought that an appropriate title...

I am NOT, I repeat NOT going home. So, I emotionally gear up to walk out the door and they walk in and say hey they want us to get your vitals one more time. They take my bp and it is through the roof. So they have me lay down, take my meds, check it 45 min later and it is lower, but still high. Soooo they call the famous Dr. Lewis and he says to stay. So they I start crying b/c this means that it is another day without seeing Caroline...Oh my gosh I am a wreck. What is this lesson of learning that my children are not mine to hold on to...they are not mine to clutch in my hand oh so very tight. There will be times when I will have to choose one over the other. There will be times when I have to choose me or Jason over them - times when I need to choose my Lord over them...oh Father...really do I have to learn these lessons in the middle of the night in the midst of post partum emotions?

So...Northside HIlton we are here for 24 more hours. A blessing to be by my boy...

Here's an oldie but a goodie:

Refiners fire. My hearts one desire. Is to be holy, set apart for you Lord. I choose to be holy ready to do your will.

Going Home

2008-12-08T21:50:00.002-05:00

I am going home...without my little man. We have had two great nursing sessions at 3 & 6pm. We couldn't go up to the NICU at 9pm b/c of another baby having a procedure done. I have been officially discharged...so I am getting ready to take my pumped milk (and for those of you who followed the Caroline milk/nursing challenge let me tell you that 3 days after birthing Wyatt I just pumped about 6 oz of milk - holy cow!) upstairs to the NICU for my man and to say good night.
I'll go home, pump through the night, probably call the NICU and check in on Wyatt, and come in at 9am to spend some time w/ him. Wyatt's levels went up so he will be under the lights intensively now...so I am preparing my heart that he may not come home tomorrow either. I thought I'd prepared to deal w/ doing this for one day, but not for 2-3 more...but Jason looked at me and said baby you only have to know how to get to 9am tomorrow. So right. I can do that. Then, I remember my boy is sooooo healthy...the Lord has him under control...will meet his needs when I can not...

I am going to go home and get my other baby out of bed and hold her...

We'll post more tomorrow. I am good. My boy is good. It's just not how I saw this playing out. This too shall pass.

My man

2008-12-08T10:46:00.003-05:00

What an adventure this birth has been (Allison here reporting in). I will be able to put more thoughts down when we get home I am sure - the crazy (again) delivery, the knot in the cord (if you haven't seen that I'll try to post a pic - the ob had never seen it - Wyatt was truly protected by our LORD), the NICU, my emotions, how to let Jason and I deal with this differently, watching the other babies in the NICU and being so thankful for Wyatt's health...etc etc.

But what you all truly want now is the latest update. We got to feed Wyatt at 9am, he had another successful feeding so that makes 5 in a row. He needs 8 to go home. Now that said, b/c he is under his tanning bed he will not go home today. We spoke w/ the doc and he said he isn't worried about our guy at all. They are removing the NG tube (the feeding tube that is coming out of his nose) today at noon. He is off IV fluids, none of the blood cultures have grown and he is feeding well. The only thing to deal w/ currently is the Jaundis...his levels were 15.6 (we think we remember Caroline's being higher), but they would rather deal w/ that here than us take him home and deal w/ him on the bed at home. So they've got him tanning, and hopefully his numbers will go down, they'll take him off the lights and make sure he doesn't rebound back up too high.

As for me...my bp is still a little to high so they have started bp meds (I did this w/ Caroline too)...not sure if they will release me today or not...I believe they will, but we haven't spoken to any docs yet. My blood sugars continue to go low...which is normal b/c I was so hyped up on insulin during pregnancy that now we just have to monitor and take my dosages down...so we're figuring that out too...and for all you men out there that are dying to know...my milk is coming in! Woo hoo!

Here comes Caroine and Grammy so I need to scoot! More later!

Update 12.08.08 8:30am

2008-12-08T08:29:00.003-05:00

Entering day #5 here at wonderful Northside!! Yesterday, I did not have to eat at McDonald's thanks to wonderful people who brought us pizza and drinks!!! Thanks AC & Erin, Marnie and the ESPY's. Sunny brought us chap-stick!! On a non-related Northside note, my tag renewel was due last Thursday. You think that grammy will get pulled over in my car? I can renew on-line but I need emmission first. For those of you who think I should got this done pre-baby. I tried! The emmissions place was closed...Back to Wyatt, He ate all of his food last night at 9,12,3,6!!! Allison and I skipped 12,3 because we were just exhausted. Plus nurse Julie told us that we needed to or we would pay the price later. Thanks Julie!! Wyatt has a a little jondus this morning but they have taken his IV and feeding tube out. They gave him a cool pair of sun glass(picture to come soon). Allison's BP came down last night but they have not released us yet. I hope this new Humana health insurance works!! We have to take a CPR class today so that should be fun. Guess we will find out in 30-60 days. Got to run but before I do...THANK YOU FOR YOU PRAYERS AND ENCOURAGEMENT!!!! WE HAVE BEEN AMAZED AT ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE FOLLOWING US ON THE BLOG, FACEBOOK and TWITTER.

JH

Update 12.07.08 8:11pm

2008-12-07T19:09:00.003-05:00

Hey sorry we haven't said anything today. This is what is going on. Wyatt is in the NICU and will be there until probably Tues. or later. Alli has high blood pressure and will be kept one more night for observation. Looks like we will be leaving tomorrow. Wyatt's test have come back negative, which is positive in the medical world. We are waiting for him to have 8 great feedings with a bottle or natural, then they will release him from NICU. He has only lost 2 oz since birth. So that is a good sign that things are going well. Alli is very tired and needs to rest. Thanks for the Pizza Espy's...We just had it for dinner!!!

Good visit

2008-12-06T22:37:00.003-05:00

I just had a great visit with Wyatt. I was able to change his diaper...he pooped on me...took 5 wipes...and feed him...drank almost the entire formula bottle - spit up on me w/ two of the burps...I felt like a mom! Thanks Lord! We will go back at midnight to do the next feeding!

Thanks to Shupediddy (Lauren Espy) she was Wyatt's first non-family visitor and first NICU visitor! Woo hoo! Great to see her!

NICU

2008-12-06T17:29:00.003-05:00

Well it is official our little man is in the NICU. Mainly there b/c he went past the 6 hour limit that he could be in the transition nursery. The doc was great, didn't seem really alarmed, but she feels they need to watch him. His breathing is a little fast, his pulse/ox keeps wavering a bit, he will be getting IV and antibiotics. They will keep him a minimum of 48 hours - so he won't be coming home w/ us it seems - that is standard procedure to keep them the minimum of 48 hours. They think it is some kind of infection he got while being born - not much I could've done different to avoid it. Might have something to do w/ being born @ 37 weeks and to a diabetic momma. I will be able to take my milk, and hopefully nurse if his breathing is under control.
We will update as we know more. I feel confident that he is in the best care he could be - he is a big baby compared to the other little tykes in there - that is a blessing.

I guess the prayers are that it truly would be a minimum of 48 hours in the NICU - that I might be able to nurse - and that I wouldn't listen at all to the lies that satan likes to tell me that I should've done something different, or it's my fault b/c I'm diabetic...you know all that kind of stuff.

Just pray...I am good now...just miss my boy! We will put pics up later.

Latest on our boy

2008-12-06T15:57:00.002-05:00

Allison here...well, Wyatt is quite a handsome young man. Although he has bruises on his little face - eyes, nose, and mouth b/c on delivery. When I went from a 5 to a 10 in 45 min he moved so fast through the birth canal that he got bruised...poor little guy.
He then went to the nursery for a little bit b/c his blood sugars were a little low. But he came to us around midnight. We then proceeded to attempt to nurse, but the little guy was soooo tired. So we tried every hour on the hour (exhausting) and then he finally nursed at 5 am for 20 min....but then got so tired he didn't do it at 8 or 9am. Then the pediatrician arrived and was checking the babies over and noticed that his lips were blue and his pulse/ox levels were 40 (they need to be above 85) so away he went to the transition nursery again. Although this little stinker brought his levels back up as soon as he got some formula...he seemed to be leveling off and was going to come back to us...but then his levels keep dipping then going back up etc. So the doc up there ordered lab work and a chest xray. We are waiting for results b/c he might have to go to the NICU b/c they can only stay in transition nursery for 6 hours.
I am not troubled. I miss my little man, but know he is in such good care. I don't believe this is totally abnormal for 37 week old, baby of a diabetic. How I wish that wasn't so. But, his lungs sound good, and his breathing seems good, and his heart sounded good...so they are looking into it. I am thankful for that.

I am pumping and trying to rest while he isn't here...ready to get nursing under way...

Thanks for your prayers. We will keep updating.

WE HAVE A BOY!!!

2008-12-05T20:34:00.003-05:00

8:25pm details to come! Everyone is fine he got a 9 on the apgar! We are doing great!! Allison is alert!! Both Grandmaw's got to see it. Wyatt Christopher Hodges weighs 8 lbs 6 oz and is 21.5 inches long. We will be in our room within the hour. Give me a call if you want to stop by!!! We will be here till Sunday.

Jason

Update 12.05.08 7:29pm

2008-12-05T19:29:00.001-05:00

We have moved on to a 5!! At 80%. So we are seeing progress!

Update 12.05.08 4:54pm

2008-12-05T16:54:00.005-05:00

We are at a 4!!! Slowly making it!...If you tracking with Caroline. We labored for 15.5 hours! We are now into hour 9. Allison is doing great. Wyatt is doing great!! The best news is that last time she was so "drugged up" she didn't experience Caroline's birth. This time Alli is fully aware which is awesome. We have moved on to our 3rd nurse Rachel. She is great. If you are fan of FRIENDS, remember the episode when Rachel was giving birth to Emma? She started to get frustrated because 6 ladies checked in delivered and were gone before her. That is what is happening to us. I think the count is 4 right now!

JH

Update 12.05.08 1:54pm

2008-12-05T13:53:00.003-05:00

Water has broken!!! We are putting all the internal monitors inside. We are at a 3. To quote nurse Karen, "You don't care who the doctor is to deliver, he could be the janitor, as long as he can get the baby out." Try that in your deep southern smoker woman voice. Again, no pictures for you because this is a PG audience...For the record, trip #2 to McDonald's. First trip, was chicken Mcnuggetts. They taste the same as they did when i was 10. Lunch was cheeseburger and fries. Please bring a chick-fil-a sandwhich is you are going to stop by.

JH

Update 12.05.08 12:32pm

2008-12-05T12:32:00.002-05:00

Everything is great. Allison is doing fine. We are waiting for the doctor to come back in to check her any minute. Contractions every 2 minutes, epidural is in and we are feeling good. Hopefully, I will have some thing to report. Now, I am off to find lunch.

JH

Update 12.05.08 10:30am

2008-12-05T10:28:00.002-05:00

For those of you who want to know. Grammy has arrived from Kansas and is on the way to the hospital. Should be here soon! We have the drugs now! So, its a party @ Northside! I think I'm going to take a nap.

Update 12.05.08 9:45am

2008-12-05T09:50:00.001-05:00

Contraction are 2 minutes apart. We are watching the Today show. Thats all I got

Update 12.05.08 7:45am

2008-12-05T07:30:00.007-05:00

Good morning Northside!!

I slept through the night on the nice comfortable couch. Well, enough about me. Allison slept till about 3am, The contraction started about 3:30am. Right now we have meet with Dr. Richardson to talk about the insulin pump. He showed me how to work. It is huge that Northside is letting Allisoin control with the pump instead of their own methods. Allison is going to take a shower right now, then enter the pitosin to start labor. Our great nurse Bethany has diagnosed Allison at 2 and 70% of face. Wyatt is great! Allison blood pressure is fine. We now have a new nurse named Karen. The jury is still out on if I like her or not. Here are some pictures of our castle! check by @ 9am

Jason

Update 12.04.08 11pm

2008-12-04T23:02:00.002-05:00

We are going to bed. Allison is taking an Ambien. Next update will be at 8am. That will be an hour after they start the patosine(SP). So see ya in the morning. If news breaks out, we will break in!!

JH

Update 12.04.08 8pm

2008-12-04T20:04:00.001-05:00

Watching survivor with Dr. Lewis! He is great we are racing with is Black Berry and my Iphone. Don't worry MAC people we are kicking is but on web page look and feel. As well as, quickness!! Oh, Allison. She is fine talking and remembering the good old days with just one child.

Update 12.04.08

2008-12-04T19:00:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday Jason!!! This is an awesome bday!!...I will get to see my son!!! It will probably be a slow night. Right now, Allison is eating her dinner...It the last supper before Labor. Chicken, peas, carrott, sugar free cool-ade(yuck)!! It looks like I will be going to Mcdonals. Chicken Nuggets or Big mac or salad in a cup. I don't know. Maybe I should take a vote!! Dr. Lewis will be down in a few. BP is normal. If you don't see updates on the blog, don't worry nothing is going on. We will be getting Cervadale(which is seaweed) @ 7pm, that will be taken out at 7am. So you might not see anything here for a while, I do have a cake here. So if you want to come by feel free! just call first. No visitors after 11pm because I am sleeping.
I am also updating on twitter and facebook.
Thanks for checking,

Jason

Update

2008-12-02T06:13:00.001-05:00

So they have put me on bed rest....amnio on Thursday...if his lungs are good we go Monday the 8th! Wow! That is NEXT monday! Okay just a little info to keep you excited!

Getting Close

2008-11-25T10:20:00.002-05:00

Well friends...we are nearing the finish line. I am 35.5 weeks pregnant, Wyatt is measuring around 37 weeks, and we are probably going to be inducing in the 37th week! That is soon, in case you were wondering. These are potential inducing dates, Dec. 8, 12, 17. The prayers now are for his size to remain smaller as opposed to larger, and for his lungs to be developed by 37 weeks so we can go early. By going early this helps to ensure that I won't have to have a c-section.
Please be praying for a safe delivery, wisdom for the doctors, that my mom would be able to get here, and that Caroline would be okay while we are away at the hospital.

We will be updating here w/ the status of going into the hospital, progress, and our sweet boys arrival. Also, Jake and I will get pics up soon of his room, and Caroline's total big girl room! Woo hoo!

Belated Halloween Pics

2008-11-12T19:11:00.002-05:00

Here are some fun pics of the family on Halloween. There is also a group shot of all the kids represented by the adults at the 3rd annual chili cook-off some friends of ours had! It was GREAT! Caroline went around trick-or-treating w/ the "big kids" you know the 2 year olds! Enjoy our little chicken!

Big Girl Bed Pictures

2008-10-30T11:19:00.003-04:00

What you've really been waiting for.

Those moments

2008-10-26T20:03:00.002-04:00

There are moments that you hope for as a believer. You pray that after years of walking with the Lord that we would hear his voice every now and then, that we might be quiet enough...or he be loud enough...or just that we would remember what His voice even sounds like. I had one of those moments.
Let me say first that the Lord has opened up a neat door for our family and for me personally. As most of you know that know us...or you wouldn't be reading this blog...I left KidStuf 19 months ago and honestly haven't looked back. I loved my time there, but when I felt like the Lord asked me to leave to stay at home and be a mom...I didn't think twice. Now that is not to say that I haven't missed it, but I have not wanted to go back.
I got a call 2ish weeks ago asking me to consider coming back to just Host KidStuf at Buckhead Church again...I had never thought they would ask...I had never thought I'd get to go back as an actor and not have to be there full time and in charge! What an answer to prayer this is for our family financially.
Well, to my "moment" with the Lord. Today was my first rehearsal with the new cast, on the stage I've never gotten to be on etc. I had been feeling guilty about the time that this would take me away from being a mom...and honestly it's not that much time...but I don't do anything else...so being away is big to me. I wasn't even out of my neighborhood when I felt like the Lord was saying to me, "Allison I am giving this back to you. This is for YOU, so you might have a personal ministry." Of course I started weeping. I am most always mom or wife, and almost never just Allison. The Lord was opening up an opportunity for me to be Allison and use the way he made ME to serve HIM! What a glorious Lord we have.
I just wanted to share, that my heart is so full tonight with this opportunity. I think this will in turn help me to be a better mom. I will love my kids watching me serve in my skill set. Thank you Lord for giving this back to me when I never would have dared asked you.

New Big Girl Things

2008-10-22T20:13:00.002-04:00

Wow a few things have happened in the last couple of weeks. My computer has died, that is why I haven't posted about them. Pics will come when I am able to get my pics. But I thought the news was worth reporting in on.

#1: Caroline began taking naps in her big girl bed in her room last week. She is doing GREAT. I put the bed up in her room for a week for her to get used to, we read books, and played "night night" on it. Then when I got the guard rails from a friend (thanks Jen) we took the plunge! I love it! She loves it! We will move her to sleeping in it at night in November (that is soon) so that we have about 4-6 weeks of getting used to it before Wyatt comes.

#2: Caroline has been talking about the potty a TON lately. One day I asked her if she wanted to go, she said yes, and (well, I did cheat as I could "tell" she was needing to go) so we went in there and she totally went #2 on the potty! She thought it was great. We will sit there before nap time or bath time...just to be familiar ya know!

Anyway, those are our updates. I will put pics of her in her big girl bed up soon.