Sunday, February 24, 2008


Caroline perhaps one day you will read all of these blogs and take them to heart as you yourself are a young mom, or perhaps even before that, as a young woman coming to grips with her humanity in light of a relationship w/ Christ.
I write this today to let you know that fear can be consuming. For most of my life I feel like I have battled fear in one form or another. As a young child it came in the way of nightmares, aweful, gruesome, bloody, terrifying nightmares. You know, Grammy and Papa never let me watch those kinds of movies or shows, yet somewhere I believe Satan was trying to terrify me w/ these images. So therefore, night became fearful. Sleep became fearful.
As I got older, unfortunately this seemed to be where I always felt attacked...but then even in my waking hours...fear gripped me. Fear of my mom and dad not making it home safe from a night out. Fear of death for them, for me...Darren...FEAR always.
I think that is one of the reasons going to school everyday was such a traumatic experience. I was afraid something would happen while I was away. I realize that I was never afraid to "try" things as long as my family was around. As long as I could see them.
Fast forward to today, this morning...and that same paralyzing fear gripped me my love. Fear of loosing you! I think perhaps I've seen too many movies and tv! My dear, I find myself almost afraid daily of coming in your room to get you from sleep, whether a nap or night and I am afraid you will be gone. Dead. Oh how I hate that moment before I open your door. I know this may seem silly...but I believe a lot of mom's struggle with this, and I don't think many people talk candidly about this reality.
I called Grammy this morning to just ask her to pray for not give in to the lie that Satan wants to breed in my thoughts. To somehow forget that my Saviour is real, and is a protector. To pray that I wouldn't let the fear get its grip on me. Grammy shared that even today, as Uncle D and I are 36 and 32, she still has fear. But, the key here is to not let the perversion creep in. I think there is a healthy fear, perhaps caution to protect you...but there are things that are out of my control. While pregnant w/ you I realized this immensely...and for some reason this morning, I am reminded again that Jesus has you.
So my love, when you read this as a young woman, remember that fear is normal. But the fear that paralyzes is not of the Lord. So today, I claim this verse for myself, for Grammy, for you....

"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you, not as the world gives, give I to you. Don't let your heart be troubled, do not be afraid." John 14:27

Claim it sweet one!

Saturday, February 23, 2008


Finally I've gotten her hair in the pig tails! Take note that it only lasted about 30 min..then they came out. Gotta love it!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Waving the Wheat

This is for Grammy Pammy and GDaddy! Thanks for my Jayhawk chearleader outfit! We sure do love you all!

The one w/ her back to the camera is her mid bounce to the music playing. Enjoy!

Thursday, February 14, 2008


Forgot to mention that teeth #7 & 8 are here! Wow! Four on top and four on the bottom! Also, we weighed her the other day and we think she is 20 lbs!!! Again...she's just huge! He He He!

Happy Valentines Day

Yes her shirt says, "Single and Loving It"...hilarious! Happy Valentines Day!

Monday, February 11, 2008

Things I love

Things I love about today:
1. hearing Caroline babble in the monitor experimenting w/ new sounds
2. going in to get her in the morning
3. watching her hug her stuffed animals
4. going walking w/ her and watching her lounge in her stroller
5. watching her inhale avocado
6. hearing her suck her two middle fingers
7. her crazy hair
8. the way she licks the air
9. her laugh
10. the way she climbs the stairs

Those are just a few reasons being I love being w/ Caroline!

Oh yeah...I think she said "duck" and "dolly" two days ago...she hasn't said them again...but she did say them on Saturday! Way to go Caroline.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Caroline the Cheerleader

Last night was a big night at the Hodges House. Carolina vs. the hated team 9 miles away. They won but Caroline won the award for best dressed fan. Enjoy the pictures!

Monday, February 4, 2008


Just a quick update to say she has #5 & #6 teeth! I totally thought the next two were coming in on top...then I looked at her on Saturday and realized the next two teeth had just poked through on the bottom! Wow!
Caroline is GREAT! She is so much fun right now! She has discovered that the couch is a fun thing to play on. She loves "rough housing" w/ mom and dad on the floor. She crawls up and down the stairs w/ no problem...every once in awhile I have to remind her to concentrate b/c she'll get excited about the dogs going up and down.
I have finally begun to read the next book in the Baby wise series (5 mo-15 mo, pretoddler) and it suggests "structured alone playtime" we began doing that last week 2x a day for a bout 15-20 min. Learning to concentrate on just a few toys, playing by herself, having self-control etc.
Also, learning that I am training the HEART of a child not their actions. The actions will follow if the heart is discipled. I love this book. The first one worked so great for us up til now. Honestly, I knew years ago that this was the parenting material I wanted to use as a resource. The gal that mentored me, Janet Peterson, back home, has 5 kiddos and has used this philosophy with them. I remember hearing a conversation w/ her then 6 year old Mary Kate (who is know 13 I think) and she asked Mary Kate if she had a heart of repentance ( I think MK had been disobedient). MK thought about it and said "Yes mommy I do." Janet then asked her what she needed to do and MK said "Mommy will you forgive me?" I love the thought that MK totally knew what Janet was talking about and responded is such an honest way. So...I am off to train the heart of a child...what an awesome responsibility.