Happy Birthday

9 Month Update

How is it our girl turned 9 months on Monday? We flew home yesterday from KC for a few days back here to then fly back to KC for Christmas on Sunday the 23rd! Caroline did GREAT on the plane. She is even teething again (3rd one has cut through and the 4th is just about too...they are on top). I guess I need to take her home to teeth...as this is when the first two came in. This time however, there weren't any other symptoms...no cement poop, no fever, no fussiness...totally different from the first ones.
So we treked to Dr. Cox's office (we love him) and get ready for the heavyweights stats...he he he...

Weight: 17 lbs 15 oz. (30%) (a gain of almost 3 lbs since last apt @ 6 months)

Height: 27.5 in (50%, she's grown 1.25 in since last apt.)

Gotta love our happy healthy little lady! She is crawling like crazy, pulling up consistently, will walk w/ you if you hold her hands, delights in the dogs, her own reflection and much more.

I set up her 1 year apt today when I left the doc office...how is that already here? What a great 9 months. She has been here now as long as we were prego...woo hoo!

Kansas Snow

Caroline and I are here in KC to sing on my mom's last concert. She is retiring after this school year. The day after we arrived we woke to snow!! This is our first outing in the snow...it brought her great delight, as it did her mom! Enjoy our little snow bunny!

December in Attanta

We have been having record highs here this week...

This is hard!

We are in a new season with Caroline where opinions have seemed to come into play. She wants to be held most of the time, or actually just someone near by that she can touch. What this does mean is that last week she fell asleep on my chest for almost 2 hours (this hasn't happened since she was an infant), and she has begun to give on her own hugs and kisses...this is much to the delight of her mom and dad!
Meal time has become not so much fun again...crazy how when she was a new born feeding times were so difficult, and there would be spit up and the consistent question of "Is she getting enough?" still seems to ring in my ears. My daughter doesn't seem to want to eat that much right now...so again I find myself asking "Is she getting enough?"...and again still 8 almost 9 months later I find myself asking the Lord to take care of her, help her eat as much as she needs, not as much as her mom thinks she needs. O that I were able to self regulate my intake of food like she does. Stopping when full, not snacking in between meals....
But all that said, even though hard, even though I still wonder am I doing anything constructive, is she learning what she needs to, is she developing, am I training her to be a human, as well as be one that loves our Lord? I look at her joyful spirit and know that MOST of the time she is a delight, she is joyful, and she is well loved...the rest is up to our Lord.
So I leave you with these pics and this word from the Lord that is on her wall that serves as my constant reminder of what is important...
"Teach me your way and I will walk in your truth. Give me an undivided heart that I might fear your name." Psalm 86:11

Thankful

So Thanksgiving was great with family from both sides! My mom and dad came in town for the weekend and it was filled with its usual easiness. I don't say that lightly as I know there are lots of folks that hanging with your parents isn't easy...it is with mine and we are both so thankful. Jason and my dad rewired one of the cable lines so we didn't have a cord across the floor anymore with our new crawler...mom and I decorated for Christmas...we made baby food, they sent us out on a date and in true dad fashion he slipped Jake some money on the way out the door. We are thankful. In equal fashion we are thankful for Jason's family. We had a terrific time over at his Aunt and Uncle's house. Kids crawling around and darn good food! We are thankful for family.

I am thankful for a husband who loves me and truly "gets" me. I am thankful for a daughter who trusts me, and warms my heart with her smiles, her giggles, and how she reaches out for us now. I am thankful that I know that with out a Saviour I am nothing. I am thankful that with uncertainty I know my Saviour is certain. I am thankful.

Enjoy the pics...gotta love the one with a red mouth...she has just tried raspberries for the first time!

Feels like Spring

It is mid 70's here in the ATL...check out the cutie!

Bath Time

Caroline Loves her bath. Enjoy her excitement.

Our Little Tar Heel

Some fun pics from Wed when it was the Tar Heels first official game with a win over Davidson! Go Heels!

Watching Her

I love watching her. Every aspect I believe, her discoveries, her joys, even her pain watching her reminds me that I am thankful of the knowledge of a Saviour who watches me too and allows me to discover.
I have been watching her "getting ready to crawl" for almost a month now...she is so stinkin' close, and can make headway...does the army action...but to watch her stare at a toy or us and just rock back and forth waiting for the courage to go. Once she does her world will change, for the better, I know this b/c I know the other side of crawling...walking, running, dancing, leaping...but to her it is a risk right now to crawl. Oh how I am like my daughter. Sometimes risk looks so daunting that to take that first movement towards the other side almost cripples me into never moving, never daring that there are other possibilities, adventures that await...oh to learn to crawl...

Tar Heels and Toes

The Tar Heels had their first scrimmage of the season...so our girl had to put on her "garb" don't ya know! Then the other pics are two that represent some of my favorite views of Caroline. She and I go walking most days and her lounging in her stroller is just one of the best sites there is.
Currently CDH is saying "mama" "baba"...not sure that the mama is in relation to me yet...but she is making those sounds. She has also successfully put two back to back knee crawls...and maybe just maybe yesterday she signed "All done" in her high chair at dinner. I don't know if that is really possible for her to be signing back yet...but I think it happened!!

I haven't said it in awhile...I love being a mom!

Caroline Wakes Up

Happy Halloween!

Here are some fun pics of Caroline. She is still working on figuring out what crawling is. The pic you see her up on all 4's is where she gets to and then just can't figure out the rest quite yet! She is a ballerina for halloween...which basically meant she wore this to lunch w/ her daddy at work today...doubt we'll be doing any official trick-or-treating!

Firsts

Caroline and I have made it back from Kansas with several firsts now under out belt!
It was great to go home, see a Kansas sunset, splash in the hot tub w/ my niece and nephews, eat mom's good cooking...laugh w/ my brother and at my brother...see Daddy's smile and loud booming laugh, and watch mom work w/ kids at her school...home is good.
CDH and I however got hit w/ the sickness...the day after we arrived CDH got her first fever 102.2...thankful that she's been here for 7 months and this was her first fever. She recovered nicely w/ a little infant tylenol. I began to battle the chest/head cold...then when we went to Wichita to help Eastside Community Church launch KidStuf and CDH got the pukes that her cousin passed around our whole family...she was #5 to go down and I was #6...thank goodness for Grammy to help out w/ both girls down for the count w/ the pukes. Then on Monday CDH began to cut the first of two teeth...the other one she is working on today I believe. For all of you first time mom's out there the poo that happens w/ teeth is amazing...Jason and I have termed it "cement poo"!
Again...who knew I would talk as much about boobs and poo as I have these past 7 months.

We arrived back home last night and are adjusting back to life here. Good to be in our own beds...toys...dogs...

Oh yeah...one of the best parts of the trip...my roomie surprised me and flew to KC on Sunday to hang w/ me and my fam for a couple of days. What a good husband!

caroline

Finally Fall

Finally fall is here...the temp today was in the mid 70's...chilly actually outside!! I am making a pot of chili tomorrow...life is good.

So the last couple of posts have been a bit heavy so thought a cute blue eyed darlin' would delight all of you. She really is doing well. She is close to crawling, rocking up on all 4's, sits up fairly well...She still eats 4 times a day, but that will all change when we come back from KC. I have been waiting to adjust her schedule until this trip home was finished. Caroline and I leave on Monday the 15th to go to KC. The Lord has provided a couple of contract opportunities. I am going to choreograph my mom's school musical (Oliver) while home. I used to do this in college all the time to earn some $$...then over the weekend CDH, and my mom and I will go to Wichita where I am going to help (along w/ Michael Simmons, and Billy Boughey) a church cast vision about doing KidStuf!! What a blessing! Plus I will have much needed time in the mid-west. I'll be home for about 10 days. It has been 5 months since I've been home, CDH was about 10 weeks old...my she has changed. I am sure I will have much to report once we return. Until then...enjoy the beauty!

The Perversion of Excellence

So a pretty heavy title for my daughter's blog site...but I needed a place to share what the Lord has taught me this week and I think, or wonder perhaps if it might speak to some other mom's out there too..so here goes. (oh yeah. no pics at the moment b/c my camera needs a new battery)...
This week I came face to face with an "old friend" perfectionism again. I really struggle with this, and often become quite defensive when my life doesn't seem perfect. Those closest to me I am sure notice. I have known for awhile that my defensive nature and struggle w/ perfectionism would be dealt w/ from the Lord. So, this week it hit me. Perfectionism is the perversion of excellence. My mom and I have talked several times that any good and perfect thing from the Father, Satan has a perversion to counter it. And I believe the drive to be perfect is the perversion of what the Father would ask of me to be excellent.
The more I thought abou this the more I realized that while working in KidStuf I told the team on Sunday's that I wanted an excellent show, not a perfect one. I wanted a show that glorified the Lord and if it wasn't "perfect" I was okay, b/c I knew it was excellent. However, as I thought the other day, I do not apply that same pricipal at home. If dinner wasn't as flavorful as it could be then I would beat myself up, if Caroline struggled during the day I would beat myself up, if I hadn't vaccuumed yet this week, again...I would beat myself up b/c it wasn't "perfect"....oh how I have believed the lie.
I opened my eyes the other morning and saw a clean home, a child who is joyful and on a good schedule, a great marriage, laundry done, and a home cooked meal on the stove...I have an excellent home. No longer will I believe the perversion....
The main thing here is that Christ is the only perfect thing, so to try to strive for that will only leave me in a chronic state of worthlessness...
I have an excellent marriage, child, home...
Thank you Lord for the freedom in this lesson....

On Being Allison

Of course there are a few pics to satisfy those of you who need to see our girl...mom, dad...I must say that I thought the days of tank tops would be over for us by this time of year...but alas it has been another toasty week here in Atlanta.
I wanted to share some thoughts I have come to reckon with this past week. In earlier posts I mentioned struggling to know where Allison was anymore. I am wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt, friend...no longer an employee, self-employed you might say...but there is a role in there that is just woman or Allison. I have struggled in knowing where to find her again...Jason has mentioned me auditioning for a show around town and doing that and maybe that's where she would be. But alas, that would take me away from my family for so many nights that I couldn't do that quite yet...in this season at least. Then Jason mentioned, maybe it would be the contract work that I would do around town...KidStuf, JumpStarts, conferences, video shoots...but still that isn't where ALLISON lies. That is just another role of actor...or something like that. Then the other morning I actually got myself up out of bed before Caroline got up, made it downstairs and decided to spend some much needed time with our Lord. While journaling last Saturday morning I felt like the Lord was saying "This is where Allison is. Coming to me. You don't have to be wife or mom when you come to me....just come as Allison." Because see, when I met Him there that morning a sense of full-fillment came over me...I found Allison again in the quietness of my time. I have justified not spending time w/ Him b/c I didn't think I could do it 7 days a week like I used to when I was single. So, here I am saying it for all of you to read...I will spend at least 3 times a week with Him...finding Allison, journaling, being quiet enough to hear how he might mold "her" to then shape and mold those around me. Once Allison is filled, then the other roles I will become for the rest of the day will be affected by how I take care of me...just me...Allison.

She's Huge!

Okay, so maybe not huge as I have read some of our other friend's blog sites and their kids are bigger than CDH and they are2 months younger...hilarious. Drum roll please...Caroline weighed in at her 6 mo. doc apt @ 15lbs (30%) : 26 1/4 in (70%)....long and lean the doc said. He said she is doing great and we are to expect our world to change in the coming months w/ her mobility. Holy cow get ready dogs...Zeke and Zoe have no idea what is about to hit.
Enjoy the pics. Gotta love the one of her on her Daddy's shoulders! The others are what we do most evenings now that it is too chilly to go to the pool. We sit on a blanket in the back yard and love it! Enjoy!

Reflections

Dearest Caroline- As I type this you are sound asleep in your crib and the day is drawing to a close on now your 6 months here in our life. I can hardly believe that September 17 is already here. I looked at the calendar back in March and imagined what it would be like to know you for 6 months...and it doesn't to compare to reality. My darling daughter already I see a joyful spirit in you. I see a bit of a twinkle and onryness that I appreciate, as a fellow onry woman.
I see you learning things daily, like trying to sit up. Who knew the monumental hurdle this would be someday. I thought about that tonight as we sat on the blanket outside w/ daddy, and I was just sitting there, not a challenge at all, yet sometimes as you work on sitting up you fall over, you even spit up...yet you too will master this task, and somehow it will shape the way you develop.
I love how you seem totally fine, and we probably wouldn't know you were hungry until I lay you on my lap on the boppy, and all of a sudden the hunger reality hits you, and you begin to open your mouth and make wonderful moans for food.
I love how I can just say "mama" and your face lights up. I love how when daddy walks in the room and you hear his voice you take great delight. I love how you love to stomp on daddy's dresser and look in the mirror. I love how we can hear you in the early morning hours, not anxious about waking up, but rather waking up with a joy for the day and I know this because of how your talk to yourself experimenting with different sounds and volume levels.
I love bath time...you love bath time...
I love that you are in our family. I love that even now I believe you love daddy and me too.
I forever changed being your mom. I am forever thankful to the Lord for entrusting you to our care. I love you my first born. I love you daughter. I love you bunkin, squeedle, ...my little bug...I love you!

My Buddy...My Buddy...

You all remember the song from when we were growing up..."Wherever I go, she goes..." Jason and I had an awesome opportunity to go to Nashville over the Labor Day Holiday to see some dear friends. I grew up w/ Chris and now since being married our spouses enjoy one another also. Well, we both had little girls this year. They had Finley Hasiah (protected by God) DeTray July 10th...this was our first chance to have them meet Caroline and us meet Finley. Chris' mom...who my niece Emma Kate named Grammy Pammy was visiting her first Grandchild...so we had the whole fam together. That's how it felt too...family. One afternoon Pam offered to watch the girls (courageous if you ask me) and the 4 of us went to a movie...my first theater experience since CDH was born!! We are thankful for friends who are so easy to be with. I will say things are different now that we have kiddos...7am still comes every morning, naps still need to be taken...it is hard this new season sometimes. I know the Lord is shaping us and teaching me in particular about flexibility...not my long suit! I am learning.

Enjoy the pics.

Georgia Game

So the darling beauty didn't actually get to attend her first Georgia game...it'll be awhile before that happens b/c no matter how small all have to have a ticket! This was us just before Jason and I left for Athens. Caroline was still sporting her gear and cheering on the Dogs at her Mimi's house.

Cousins

It is a wonderful thing to watch babies discover for the first time. To see Caroline study something and learn and become so tickled by it. Currently Caroline loves to: suck her two middle fingers, stand on her Daddy's dresser in front of a mirror stomping her feet, watching the pups, swimming, sleeping, playing naked! Well, CDH has played naked several times over the last couple of weeks b/c of a diaper rash turned into yeast infection...aghhh! When we took her to the doc on Friday b/c what we thought was a diaper rash wasn't getting any better they weighed our girl and she is a whopping 14 lb. 9oz! Oh yeah!
The funniest story of this last week would be yesterday while we were over at Jason's parents for CDH and her cousin Eli to play. Eli is in town for his cleft lip surgery that is happening as we speak. Well, we were going to go swimming yesterday, Eli's first venture out to the pool. CDH was going to show him the ropes...after a grueling getting ready (poopy swimmy diapers 2x), spit up, and sunscreen we step outside to rain and thunder....so where do we go....to Mimi's big bathtub for a "swim"...gotta love it!

Pool Beauty

Here are some more fun pictures of our girl at the pool. Check out those thighs (Caroline not her momma) :)
Things at our home have leveled out again.The fussiness that was here last week has gone. Today it was Team Hodges again! Caroline and I went to BBCC to direct KidStuf for them up there. It was a good morning. I got to have fun w/ my girl, and not carry the weight of the whole production. Caroline was a champ too! She had such a joyful spirit even though she only hada 15min nap. I am thankful that she had a blast at KidStuf.
One thing I am contemplating lately is where does wife, mom, and Allison all intertwine, and are they ever separate? I love being a mom...but is there ever just Allison again. Is there conversation without children being the topic, is there interest in things other than boobs, mile supply, diaper rash and what ointment is the best? Maybe not for awhile as she has stolen my heart, and all I can and want to think about sometimes is her...even when its the end of the day and I am spent.