Gettin' Dirty

So being a mom is not a clean thing...the last couple of days have been hard. First Wyatt woke w/ congestion on Thursday...temp followed...cough...puke b/c of congestion/cough during meals....then Caroline wakes w/ it yesterday...let the spiral begin. Just when I thought maybe we were turning a corner this morning...lunch time sent us in yet another spiral - being downward- she puked all over me - then Wyatt crawled through it as the dogs licked it up! AHHHHH DISGUSTING! So we made it upstairs to the shower...all 3 of us...she was weeping and crying...shaking...her temp had shot up...meanwhile...Wyatt nose dripping and coughing is having the time of his life splashing in the water on the floor of the shower. Today..we are getting down and dirty! Here's hoping for sweet rest while they are up there sleeping...and a good time tonight once Daddy gets home, and we can all snuggle and watch a movie together! Being a mommy is dirty!

Happy Birthday little boy!

Today you turned 1! One...how is it possible my little man? It has flown...and feels like a long time that I have known you. Your first month of life was a bit dramatic...but I wouldn't change it...I feel like you and I bonded in a way I was nervous wouldn't happen being the 2nd child. I had time with you...time to pray over you...time to weep over you...time to hold you...time to learn your noises...time secluded with you away from the world...then when we got home..we hit the floor running. As I rocked with you tonight...I thought about all that you have learned in this first year and it truly is amazing. I am proud of you. I love hearing your laugh, giggle, growls, getting kisses from you, watching you dance, discover, be YOU! You are wonderful Wyatt Christopher. I love being your mom! Happy birthday little boy!

Jason's Birthday Surprise

Jason's bday is this coming Friday December 4th~ he will be 35! Wow! Since Wyatt's bday is the 5th I decided to do something for Jason the weekend before...we got up real early, I blind folded him and took him ...for a hot air balloon ride! So great. My mom actually decided to send my dad for his 65th bday! It was a little chilly (37 degrees) but a gorgeous morning. We all went for the launch, then mom, Caroline, Wyatt and I followed the chase car so we could see them land! What a fun morning! Happy birthday babe! I am glad you were born!

New playroom

So I have been overwhelmed by lack of space, and know that Christmas and a little boy's birthday are upon us...my sis-in-law had a GREAT idea. She said that when they lived in Atlanta she had a friend who didn't have a basement and she turned the crawl space under their stairs into a playroom! I loved the idea! So mom and dad have been here for the holiday and the transformation began. We moved all of the things I was storing under there (mostly Christmas decorations) to the new shelves we put in in the guest room closet. Dad and Jason put dry wall up, we painted the walls in the entry part of the closet space, then put sheets up on the dry wall, threw some rugs down and put in the toys! They love it! They are playing together in there...oh yeah...dad and Jason also put in two lights for them with switches down low so the kiddos can turn them on and off. I love creative use of spaces! Thanks mom and dad for making it happen!

11 Months! WHAT?

Today our little man is 11 months old! I can't hardly believe that birthday party ideas are already brewing, theme is established, and Wyatt is almost 1 year old! AHHH! It is wonderful and hard all at once! This has been a big week for the boy - he got a 3rd tooth, he is pulling to stand, and this morning finally discovered the joy of the stairs. That of course means that we began to have stair lessons! I did this with Caroline and am so thankful. She mastered those stairs early on and I never really worried about her. So - WC - got his first lesson today in going up and down. I must say he was pretty proud of himself.
One new thing I love watching is Caroline and Wyatt interacting now. It is just too precious. Two of my favorites have been on walks w/ them in double wide. Last week Wyatt leaned in to kiss Caroline. He hadn't done this before. She backed away b/c she didn't know what he was trying to do. I told her, and well, that was all she needed they then kissed back and forth for the next several minutes! I love it! Then on Monday we were walking and I watched Caroline just reach over and begin rubbing Wyatt's back! Oh to sweet! Lord, bless their relationship so that they might always be friends.

I held WC this morning getting him out of his car seat and just held him close and kissed that sweet little head. Knowing he's growing up right before my eyes and he may not want me always kissing on his sweet head...isn't it the goal to work myself out of a job...that's a hard thing to do!

Oh yeah and I trimmed Caroline's hair for the first time in her life last Monday. I think I cut off about 4 inches! Woah! Didn't intend to be that much...but it looks so healthy and like a big girl!

Battle

Dearest Caroline- this morning was one of the most difficult mornings I have ever had with you. I love you! I have never heard screams, cries, confusion, disrespect, disobedience, indecision from you like I have this morning. I love you! I will battle through this with you. I love your heart. I love how you know scripture that we haven't even really taught you. I love how you talk about God and that he lives in your heart...and I hate that Satan knows that and vies for you my love. As soon as I began praying in the car out loud b/c what else could I do? You told me to stop - so I kept on...when I began singing you told me to stop - so I kept on...when I began quoting scripture you told me to stop- so I kept on...I LOVE YOU! I will fight on your behalf for as long as the Lord lets me. I need to remember that until you know how to clothe yourself in HIS armor it is my job to clothe me, and to shield you my love....you have finally stopped screaming...it has been quiet for 15 minutes. I pray you get rest right now, and that the Holy Spirit ministers to your little heart that loves that Him so much while you sleep. I love you Caroline. I love you!

Family Day

Just a few pics of our outing to Bert's Farm...which we missed the hayride twice that morning then had to leave to get Jason back so he could do MLL at Bhead...oh well. Another time! Enjoy the pics!

Happy Hearts & Joyful Spirits

Being "the mom" or "the parent" is hard. Caroline and I seem to battle around the issue of the potty. There will be days when it is so easy, I don't have to remind her, she just gets it and does it. The last 3ish days have been with maybe only one success on the potty each day, and she looks right at me and says "I don't want/have to/need to go to the potty" - take your pick of the phrase...I usually say that is fine, you know what to do so when you need to go potty just do it...today was a flat out "no I am a baby"- now I realize that she may be playing into wanting different attention like her brother is getting esp since he started crawling he is getting praised differently than ever before. I had had it this morning and said "fine, let's go put on a diaper" to which she had no problem (ahhhh). I was so frustrated...actually ticked off that this could get me like it does. I think she knows it too. Anyway...after a few minutes of me realizing that I was actually behaving like a baby. I stopped, prayed, and asked the Lord for wisdom. When she made it back down the stairs I said..."Okay Caroline I'm going to set the timer, and in 10 min. you get to be a big girl again, not a baby" - to which she let me know that she did not want to be a big girl and please don't set the timer (not quite sure why she had an issue w/ the timer we don't use it for anything other than cooking typically) - so we went about our business. When the timer went off she lost it - I began to praise her for all the great things I love about her being a big girl, I sat her on my lap and prayed over her then changed her back into panties...she was sobbing. I then told her (as she was telling me repeatedly that she was a baby) if she needed to go cry about being a big girl then she needed to do that in her room and find a happy heart and a joyful spirit. "I don't want a happy heart and a joyful spirit" (now this I understand - sometimes I just don't want to come out of my funk, I want to be ticked off, or frustrated, sad or whatever...but you know I think Joy is a choice - God gives us the amazing fruit of the spirit being Joy - but I think we still have to take it from him - it doesn't always come naturally.) After a few minutes in her room, crying about being a big girl - she finally said she had a happy heart and was ready to be a big girl.
Growing up is hard. There are times I would like to just not have any responsibility, be a kid, sleep, play, eat whatever I want and just be...but not so - God has asked me to grow up to...choose to have a happy heart and a joyful spirit about where I am at also...perhaps I need to let Caroline know when I am having to choose to have a happy heart and a joyful spirit...so she'll know even as an adult you have a chance to choose...
...as I write this I hear her waking up and singing "You Baby" from the Jazz Singer...a joyful heart indeed!

Growing up!

Fun times here at the Hodges household. Wyatt is officially crawling and attempting to pull up to at least his knees on things. Caroline is sooo good at going potty...and then not good at all going potty on the potty...weird. But, she is full of song. The picture here is of her singing into her play-doh microphone. She has begun to have "KidStuf" and sing on her "stage". I must admit I love it.
My mom comes in town tomorrow for a week, and dad will join us on Saturday. Wyatt will be dedicated on Sunday at church so we are thankful they are able to come and celebrate him with us.
This season is hard. Makes for a very selfish heart to rear it's ugly head often. I am learning that marriage, my relationship with Jason is hard in this season - but it is worth the fight, worth the struggle. We have been reading "Now You're Speaking My Language" by Gary Chapman and discussing once a week...and it is a GREAT book if you are looking for something to read with your spouse, or alone on how to truly have a covenant marriage as opposed to a contract marriage! I highly recommend it.

I love being a mom! I love being married to my man! Life is good!

9 Month Stats

WC is Huge! To us. Caroline wasn't this big until about 15-18 months old I think...I think she only weighs 5 more lb than him right now...hilarious!

22 lb (75%)
29 1/4 in (80%)

Love this boy! Jason says he crawled last night while I was at my mom's bible study...I haven't quite seen it yet today. He is moving...but I wouldn't quite call in crawling...maybe I am holding out for him to do it for me. Silly, I know!

9 Months

Here is a pic of Caroline at 9 months and Wyatt at 9 months...just for fun!

When did it happen?

Somewhere in the night between Monday and Tuesday - Caroline grew up. I think as a parent you aren't sure when it is going to happen, and all of a sudden it does and you think - "wow, okay, you just grew up between now and yesterday."
Explanation: one funny/amusing one thank you Lord...

Monday as we were doing laundry as we do every Monday she manages to grab one of my bra's (sorry fellas) and puts it on her back and says, "Look mom I've got my backpack on. I am ready for school." Hilarious. We have been talking a ton about why the school bus is coming in our neighborhood, and we've been talking about our "school time" starting back up Thursday (tomorrow) which she is thrilled about.
The next thing was Tuesday she decided she wanted to totally dress herself, 3x that day, everything, with a little coaching - but wow! Play clothes in the am, then swim diaper and swim suit, then back into play clothes adding in some leg warmers for the evening...but last night is what took the cake. We've done the bath and now it's time to go into her room, get on "night time panties" aka pull-ups, and her jammies...she wants to do it all herself...then the bed time ritual continued to be her own...not mine. Usually we hold her, sing some songs, say prayers, and have her say her verse, then tuck in bed...last night she informed us that she didn't want us to hold her or sing w/ her...she wanted to do it herself. And she did...she sang the regulars - Jesus Loves Me, Amazing Grace, Away in a Manger (she swayed the whole time), then we asked her if she wanted to pray by herself or if she wanted us to pray w/ her..she wanted to pray...and she did..."Jesus thank you for (and you name it) Daddy's North Carolina Shirt, mommies brown hair, my bedroom, Wyatt's bedroom, Zeke and Zoey etc etc etc. She said Amen. Then we asked her to say her verse which she rattled off...then climbed into her own bed, pulled up the covers said "I love you" and thankfully (for my heart) asked me to stay and sing "Raindrops on Roses".
I left the room...just totally amazed at the independence that she is expressing...the independent love for Jesus that she is showing...amazing...I love watching this kid! I love being her mom!

Kansas Fun

So there is much to show of what's happened over the last month. I will put some highlight pics up - and some blurb highlights...

* Wyatt came off Prevacid for a week, started throwing up again so is back on until next Doc check up
* We went to KC from Aug 5-15 for my gma's 90th bday!
*KC highlights (not limited to) gma bday party; getting toes done with my niece, sis-in-law, mom, and daughter for the first time; alone time w/ my niece doing make-overs; going to Great Wolfe Lodge complete w/ indoor water park; watching Caroline go down big water slide w/ my dad; Wyatt got sick w/ 102 fever (not a great highlight, but one none the less); going swimming in the pond w/ my kids that I grew up swimming in (weird but wonderful); a 4 hour dinner out on the back porch w/ my parents, Darren and Teri, and Jason complete w/ shooting stars; 2.5 hour dinner w/ Darren and Teri where we just told the waiter to have the chef choose our meal...incredible; watching Caroline play w/ Mac Henry; seeing the fog roll in across the pasture; Jason getting an incredible call about a job opportunity while we were out there; continually loving the home where I grew up...realizing I may never live there again...

That last sentence is where my heart lies these days...I have now lived in Atlanta for 8 years. I came here Aug.1,2001...I truly never thought I'd be here this long, and have been almost awaiting the Lords voice of saying - "now go Home"...but I think the Lord is asking me to begin to emotionally call Atlanta home. Whenever I say the words home I am usually referring to Kansas...but after this last trip home, I have realized that I believe I am holding back my heart from Atlanta. I do love living here...but I think have always thought the Lord would take me back...home...but I think he's asking me to call Atlanta home...it is hard to even type those words...perhaps w/ saying it my heart will follow. I may just be one of those people that when asked "where are you from"...I will be able to say "Atlanta" and not have a pit in my stomach.

So that's where I am right now...Wyatt said "Mamma" on Sunday...amazing...truly!

Enjoy the pics.

July

July has been crazy and fast! How is it already the end?
We left for the beach on July 5th and were there until the 11th. Then I left w/ the kids and Jason's mom for Camp Kid Jam up at Wake Forest from July 13-20th. Jason came up there for a few days after his mom left. It has been crazy busy.
For updates...Wyatt is not puking anymore. He was still doing it at the beach, but decided to stop eating his solid food anymore and would only take a bottle. So I called the doc w/ this new symptom and he put him on Prevacid. This did wonders. Within about 36 hours he wasn't throwing up and was interested in trying solid food again. Thank you Lord!
The beach was GREAT! Love being in the water...it was a weird trip w/ the weather this time. Lot's of crazy windy storms would blow in - they usually do this in Florida in the summer but in previous years it always seemed like it was around 3pm...but this time it was around 12:30 most days so we hadn't been out there very long when the storms would come and we'd have to get all the kids inside...then down for naps by the time it would blow over! We still had a wonderful time. One of my high lights was a double date we got to take w/ Jeff and Edi! Dinner and putt putt golf. Man it's been awhile since I've done that. We had a blast!
Next we were off to CKJ. This was also a great week...exhausting, but worth it. My kids are over it though. They are so glad we are home...me too!

I will say the last 2.5 weeks have put a damper on the potty training. I think w/ all the swim diapers and pull ups used while at camp...she has forgotten about "sensing" when she needs to go!! AHHHH!! So frustrating when she had it down sooo good! I know she can do it...now it's just staying with it!

Enjoy the pics!

Wyatt is 7.5 months old by the way...sucking on his toes, developing a wonderful personality, laughing, and snuggling! I love this age!

At a loss!

My dear sweet Wyatt. I don't know how to help you!
Wyatt has been projectile vomiting for the past #16 days 1-2-3x a day. Usually at meal time about 1/2 way through...he'll throw up it all...then eat the rest and usually keep it down. It doesn't seem to matter if he's had his bottle yet, what kind of veggies/fruit he is eating, if he burps or not, if he's sitting up straight or reclined...the only thing that separates is he has never thrown up after breakfast. Breakfast is the only meal I am still nursing at...is that the difference-my breast milk? I don't think I have any to go back to nursing at lunch and dinner...I barely have any in the morning any more...I've switched to different formulas...we've gone w/o formula for a day...I've taken him to the doctor - they aren't worried b/c he was still gaining weight...and he is so stinkin' happy...right before and right after he is usually happy...as he was puking in the car on the way home tonight he looked at me and smiled...what is that?
I do not know how to help him or make it stop. We have purchased the "PB" (puke bucket) to have with us at all times to catch the puke...seriously?!!! I am sad, perplexed, nervous to go out...wanting to cancel our vacation and my working at Camp Kid Jam b/c I don't know how you deal w/ this much puke on the road...ahhhhhh!
Heal him Lord! Give me creativity to know how to help him...fill me back up w/ milk if that's what he needs!

You love him more than I do. Like we pray every night when we lay our kids down..."Lord, meet his needs when I can't."

What we've been up to lately!

Soooo sorry it's been a while since the last post! I guess that is all good news! We are good...full swing into summer, the pool, watering flowers, potty training, watching Wyatt sit up...and spit up! HE HE!
One of the fun quotes of Caroline during the last 10 days since we began potty trainging:
Me: Caroline are you going to go pee pee on the potty.
CDH: Yeah. Someday.

I laughed out loud! She really is doing well with it. No accidents yesterday except in the pull up at church and during her nap...but that is to be expected I think. She loves a bit of chocolate w/ her successes! Don't we all!
Wyatt is just getting so big. The last few days have been weird w/ some projectile vomiting - yuck - but...he is happy as a clam after...maybe the slightest of a temp like 99.2 or something...but nothing crazy weird. So I am watching him today. He has kept down breakfast so far...and sleeping like a champ right now.

I love going to the pool with them. I was worried about how I would do it with two...but they are awesome. I hold WCH in the left arm and the right arm is available for the jumping craziness of Caroline! She said to me the other day. Summertime is fun mom! I love it!

Here are some pics for what our days have looked like recently.

Oh yeah...I went blond for about 6 weeks as a surprise to Jason! I am back brunette now! What we do for our men! :)

6 Month Stats

Quickly - Wyatt had his 6 month check up and did great...here are his stats:

17 lb. 4 oz (50%)
27 1/4 in (75%)

He's HUGE!

Wyatt

My dear sweet Son: Tonight I looked at you laying in your crib, comfortable, arms out, breathing easy, and I am thankful. You are 6 months old today. They have flown, the days, they are just gone before I feel like I can truly capture them in my heart. Your smile does something to me...those dimples...the way your eyes light up...your slathering of kisses on my cheek...you are my son and I Love being your mom!
You conquered so much in your first few weeks here on earth that amazingly I have almost forgotten about that time of the NICU and Scottish Rite. Honestly, there were moments when you were so sick before we knew why, when I looked at Jason and said that I was scared that the Lord was only going to have you here for a short while...but then...you got better after 9 long days at the hospital...we came home finally celebrated Christmas, Grammy went back to Kansas, and you-me-Caroline and Daddy figured it out...how to be a family of 4.
Did I mention that I love being your mom?

You babble and squeal and I love it.
You still cry during feeding times, I don't know why...but we've got our way.
You are a snuggler.
You delight in people.
You love your neck to be kissed.
You think your sister is pretty darn fun to watch.
You think Caroline is funny.
You love bath time.
You calm to the song "Jesus Loves Me"
You delight in most things....

I delight in you!

I know you will never be this small again. I can't dwell on sadness of today gone, b/c I know that tomorrow will be so much fun!

Wyatt Christopher...I love you! I am proud of you! I have learned much from you already!
"Oh that you would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory. That your hand would be with me, that you would keep me from harm that I may not cause pain." 1 Chron 4:10

Dress Up, Growing Up, Stories and more...

So much to fill you all in on...I will try to just hit the highlights...

Trip to Kansas was GREAT! Thanks to my mom who flew to Nashville then drove with us to KC and back again to Nashville on the return trip. My kiddos did AMAZING considering it took a total 16.5 hr on the way out and 18.5 hours on the way back...they were troopers! A rite of passage for sure.
Kansas was wonderful. I love watching Caroline w/ her cousins...learning about playing dress-ups (see the pic), celebrating Mother's Day w/ my mom, sis-in-law, and grandmother (see pic of me and kiddos) I don't know when the last time I was home for mother's day was...and just watching the cousins love and learn from one another (see the pic of all 6 grandkids)...I LOVE home and miss it everyday!
Wyatt is holy cow almost 6 months old! He is rolling over so much so that he sometimes forgets to take his naps in the morning b/c he loves rolling so much. He has found his feet, he totally watches his sister with delight now, he is our delight. He now is eating 3 meals a day...wow...I just made baby food today...I love home making...
Famous quotes of Caroline these days:
(after watching our wedding video) "Where's Caroline's wedding?"

Caroline has about 40 different nick names and we just hadn't settled on one for Wyatt yet. We call him "WC" sometimes...but Uncle Jeff (Jason's bro) came up with "Dub" for him...we love it...we've been calling him "Dub" since this past weekend...Caroline however says "Doug"...it makes me laugh even as I type. I tried to get her to watch my mouth and see the difference in a "b" and "g" sound...I go "No baby it's Dub." To which she goes with delight like "I know mom" "Doug"...hilarious!

Okay so those are just some of the favorites.
I personally have been doing a lot of growing...sometime I'll post about it...but I am just coming out on the other side of a pretty dark time and am rejoicing at the Lord once again meeting me where I am at and restoring me!

Oh, the final Caroline thing...(after watching our wedding video again today) I was explaining about saying our vows, and that they are like promises daddy and I made to each other. She said she wanted to make a promise. I told her she would some day to her husband. And she said she wanted to marry "Mr. Adam" (that would be Adam Cantrell..hilarious). I told her he was already married. Then I told her that I love praying for her husband and did she want to pray for him. She said yes, so today she and I prayed for her mate together...pretty cool!

Sweet Caroline

Caught our daughter singing her song.

Baby Isaac & Baby Susie

Okay so meet Caroline's babies that have finally gotten names Baby Susie (in honor of Susannah Burns that babysits the kids and is a DEAR DEAR friend), and Baby Isaac (in honor of my brother's 4th just born in Feb)...these two go most places w/ Caroline these days. Nice shades too I might add! It has been a favorite of late to hear her wailing "Sweet Caroline...bum bum bum..." in the monitor!

Wyatt is doing really well. I am struggling still w/ some of his feedings later in the day trying to figure out if he is getting enough...ahhh again I wish for the see through boob!

This next Wed (6th) we leave (me, and 2 kiddos) in the car for our first road trip to Kansas. Since Caroline is no longer free I decided that I would try it in the car w/ them. We'll drive to Nashville and stay w/ my buddies Chris and Brea (who Wyatt is named after) and my mom will actually fly into Nashville and drive the next day w/ me the rest of the way to KC. We'll be there until the 15th and then do it all again! I'm looking forward to the experience and feel like everyone should do this w/ their kids! It's a rite of passage isn't it?

That said I am sure I will have lots of stories from Kansas in the next post!

Engagement

So 5 years ago tonight Jason asked me to marry him! Wow! I am so thankful. I love our story honey. I love how you protected my heart. I love how we waited to say "I love you" until you put that ring on my finger. I love how God surprised you and I with this ring. I love the conversation you had w/ my dad that I knew nothing about. I love you. I still choose you. I would still say YES!



Another fun thing- my daughter walked up to me while we were outside planting some hosta bushes and she said, "God lives in my heart mom." Wow! I teared up immediately. She has been requesting that we read a book that my mom gave her called "How Big is God" by Lisa Tawn Bergren - its a great book - but I truly think she gets it. I know there are some of you out there who think you've got to have that "moment" in Sunday school, or church where you "pray the prayer"...but I don't have one of those. I honestly can't remember a time when God, Jesus, Christ wasn't a part of my daily conversation w/ others or w/ him. I pray that is so for Caroline and Wyatt also. I know she believes that God lives in her heart, and I pray that she never goes a day w/o talking about him and to him!

Stats

Wyatt @ his 4 month check up is:

15 lb 2 oz (60%)
25.5 in (75%)

We had some drama at the apt. The nurse accidentally stuck her finger after she gave Wyatt his shot - which then meant b/c of OSHA regulations they had to draw blood from Wyatt! AHHH! Three sticks later, three nurses later, one blown vein, lots of crying from a baby and his momma they got it! Woo hoo! Felt so bad for the nurse that it happened to...we are good though! Just thought I'd share the boys stats!

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