Happy Hearts & Joyful Spirits

Being "the mom" or "the parent" is hard. Caroline and I seem to battle around the issue of the potty. There will be days when it is so easy, I don't have to remind her, she just gets it and does it. The last 3ish days have been with maybe only one success on the potty each day, and she looks right at me and says "I don't want/have to/need to go to the potty" - take your pick of the phrase...I usually say that is fine, you know what to do so when you need to go potty just do it...today was a flat out "no I am a baby"- now I realize that she may be playing into wanting different attention like her brother is getting esp since he started crawling he is getting praised differently than ever before. I had had it this morning and said "fine, let's go put on a diaper" to which she had no problem (ahhhh). I was so frustrated...actually ticked off that this could get me like it does. I think she knows it too. Anyway...after a few minutes of me realizing that I was actually behaving like a baby. I stopped, prayed, and asked the Lord for wisdom. When she made it back down the stairs I said..."Okay Caroline I'm going to set the timer, and in 10 min. you get to be a big girl again, not a baby" - to which she let me know that she did not want to be a big girl and please don't set the timer (not quite sure why she had an issue w/ the timer we don't use it for anything other than cooking typically) - so we went about our business. When the timer went off she lost it - I began to praise her for all the great things I love about her being a big girl, I sat her on my lap and prayed over her then changed her back into panties...she was sobbing. I then told her (as she was telling me repeatedly that she was a baby) if she needed to go cry about being a big girl then she needed to do that in her room and find a happy heart and a joyful spirit. "I don't want a happy heart and a joyful spirit" (now this I understand - sometimes I just don't want to come out of my funk, I want to be ticked off, or frustrated, sad or whatever...but you know I think Joy is a choice - God gives us the amazing fruit of the spirit being Joy - but I think we still have to take it from him - it doesn't always come naturally.) After a few minutes in her room, crying about being a big girl - she finally said she had a happy heart and was ready to be a big girl.
Growing up is hard. There are times I would like to just not have any responsibility, be a kid, sleep, play, eat whatever I want and just be...but not so - God has asked me to grow up to...choose to have a happy heart and a joyful spirit about where I am at also...perhaps I need to let Caroline know when I am having to choose to have a happy heart and a joyful spirit...so she'll know even as an adult you have a chance to choose...
...as I write this I hear her waking up and singing "You Baby" from the Jazz Singer...a joyful heart indeed!